"If we cannot look ahead through all the unknown and have HOPE, then what do we really have , and what are we really living for?"
Friends of mine wrote this in their Christmas letter and I've been mulling it over for days now. Where does my hope truly lie? It's easy to say I hope in the Lord when all is going well, when everything has turned out okay, but in the midst of crisis, it's also easy to see all the superficial things I really put my hope in.
"Blessed are those who mourn..." because those who mourn have the opportunity to know, to understand, that the Lord really is the only One, the only relationship, the One who beyond all circumstances, is our earthly and eternal refuge. He only disappoints when my hope is not in Him, but rather in what I think my life should look like especially when compared to someone else.
My hope is not in Him if I so bitterly lament the further, inevitable deterioration of this already crippled, temporal body. I'm not saying that this will be easy or enjoyable or that He won't provide any physical comfort because He has and most certainly will, but that my hope is in Him when I rejoice in the fact that this life, and certainly the next, is about so much more than whether I'm free from such aches, pains, and further limitations.
"Now may the Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word" 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The Gospel
17Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. 18For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19 Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself." Philippians 3:17-21
This is why the prosperity gospel is so contrary to the Gospel of Christ. If an abundant life consists of the fulfillment of our earthly desires, the justification of gluttony and greed, what is Paul doing in a jail cell suffering for proclaiming the gospel? It's not that the Lord won't supply all of our needs (and many of our wants), because he most certainly will, but that's not the point. Christ didn't come to die for our sins, to bring us into a right relationship with God so that we could enjoy every earthly pleasure. He died to make us citizens of heaven, so that we could spend eternity with God and no amount of fleeting earthly pleasure or pain can possibly compete with that. If He did nothing else, if He withheld every other blessing, He would still be utterly worthy of our eternal praise.
This is why the prosperity gospel is so contrary to the Gospel of Christ. If an abundant life consists of the fulfillment of our earthly desires, the justification of gluttony and greed, what is Paul doing in a jail cell suffering for proclaiming the gospel? It's not that the Lord won't supply all of our needs (and many of our wants), because he most certainly will, but that's not the point. Christ didn't come to die for our sins, to bring us into a right relationship with God so that we could enjoy every earthly pleasure. He died to make us citizens of heaven, so that we could spend eternity with God and no amount of fleeting earthly pleasure or pain can possibly compete with that. If He did nothing else, if He withheld every other blessing, He would still be utterly worthy of our eternal praise.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Ten Dollars
Last night, I was asking the Lord for a million dollars so that Phoenix Christian Unified Schools (PCUS) could pay off all of its debt and implement some of the Lord’s great ideas for the future. I’ve asked Him for this many times before. He’s the only One I know who has it and might just give it to us.
No, we don’t deserve it. Years of not facing our true financial situation certainly helped to get us here, but I figure God is in the business of mercy (and discipline since He has shown us the error of our ways and brought about major financial changes). He sent His only Son to die for a world of ungrateful sinners (at least we all start out that way). A $1,000,000 so that a bunch of His imperfect sons and daughters can continue spreading the good news, particularly impacting our students for Christ as well as giving them a top-notch education, is certainly small potatoes for the Lord of all creation.
He has the money and He is going to give it to us, I have no doubt. For $10.00 each, 100,000 people can be part of this miracle. I don’t like asking people for money, but even I would be willing to ask everyone I know and complete strangers for $10.00. Nothing is impossible with God!
If you'd like to join me in this miracle there a few ways you can donate:
DONATE ONLINE - Visit the PCUS website at:
http://www.phoenixchristian.org/content/view/130/48/ and click on the orange "donate" button. The fundraiser on that page is actually asking for a dollar a day, but I promise you, all I want is a one-time gift of $10.00.
BY MAIL - Send a check (payable to PCUS) to:
Phoenix Christian Unified Schools
1751 W. Indian School Road
Phoenix, AZ 85015.
SEE ME - I will glady accept cash and checks and will also give you a big hug along with much sincere heartfelt appreciation.
Either way, you will NOT be put on any future mailing lists or call sheets due to this donation.
All gifts are tax deductible, but it may not be cost effective to send a receipt for every ten dollar donation. For gifts of this amount, your cancelled check or Paypal receipt is sufficient to claim this donation as a deduction on your income taxes. Besides, the Lord's blessing is always a greater benefit than any tax break.
No, we don’t deserve it. Years of not facing our true financial situation certainly helped to get us here, but I figure God is in the business of mercy (and discipline since He has shown us the error of our ways and brought about major financial changes). He sent His only Son to die for a world of ungrateful sinners (at least we all start out that way). A $1,000,000 so that a bunch of His imperfect sons and daughters can continue spreading the good news, particularly impacting our students for Christ as well as giving them a top-notch education, is certainly small potatoes for the Lord of all creation.
He has the money and He is going to give it to us, I have no doubt. For $10.00 each, 100,000 people can be part of this miracle. I don’t like asking people for money, but even I would be willing to ask everyone I know and complete strangers for $10.00. Nothing is impossible with God!
If you'd like to join me in this miracle there a few ways you can donate:
DONATE ONLINE - Visit the PCUS website at:
http://www.phoenixchristian.org/content/view/130/48/ and click on the orange "donate" button. The fundraiser on that page is actually asking for a dollar a day, but I promise you, all I want is a one-time gift of $10.00.
BY MAIL - Send a check (payable to PCUS) to:
Phoenix Christian Unified Schools
1751 W. Indian School Road
Phoenix, AZ 85015.
SEE ME - I will glady accept cash and checks and will also give you a big hug along with much sincere heartfelt appreciation.
Either way, you will NOT be put on any future mailing lists or call sheets due to this donation.
All gifts are tax deductible, but it may not be cost effective to send a receipt for every ten dollar donation. For gifts of this amount, your cancelled check or Paypal receipt is sufficient to claim this donation as a deduction on your income taxes. Besides, the Lord's blessing is always a greater benefit than any tax break.
Friday, July 10, 2009
The Wonderful Cross
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless Your name
Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all
- "The Wonderful Cross", Chris Tomlin
This song was running through my head all day yesterday.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Heaven: Perfect Love & Humility
Those that have a lower station in glory than others, suffer no diminution of their own happiness by seeing others above them in glory. On the contrary, all the members of that blessed society rejoice in each other’s happiness, for the love of benevolence is perfect in them all. Every one has not only a sincere, but a perfect goodwill to every other.
And what puts it beyond all doubt that seeing the superior happiness of others will not be a damp to the happiness of the inferior, is this, that their superior happiness consists in their greater humility, and in their greater love to them, and to God, and to Christ, than the inferior will have in themselves. Such will be the sweet and perfect harmony among the heavenly saints, and such the perfect love reigning in every heart toward every other, without limit or alloy, or interruption; and no envy, or malice, or revenge, or contempt, or selfishness shall ever enter there, but all such feelings shall be kept as far away as sin is from holiness, and as hell is from heaven!
- Jonathan Edwards, "Heaven, A World of Love"
When I see someone who is better at something that I am, something which brings glory to God, I am tempted to envy that person and thus reveal that I really want to bring glory to myself rather than rejoicing in the Lord's glory. May I always rejoice when He is glorified.
And what puts it beyond all doubt that seeing the superior happiness of others will not be a damp to the happiness of the inferior, is this, that their superior happiness consists in their greater humility, and in their greater love to them, and to God, and to Christ, than the inferior will have in themselves. Such will be the sweet and perfect harmony among the heavenly saints, and such the perfect love reigning in every heart toward every other, without limit or alloy, or interruption; and no envy, or malice, or revenge, or contempt, or selfishness shall ever enter there, but all such feelings shall be kept as far away as sin is from holiness, and as hell is from heaven!
- Jonathan Edwards, "Heaven, A World of Love"
When I see someone who is better at something that I am, something which brings glory to God, I am tempted to envy that person and thus reveal that I really want to bring glory to myself rather than rejoicing in the Lord's glory. May I always rejoice when He is glorified.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
God's Goals
"God's wisdom means that God always chooses the best goals and the best means to these goals." - Wayne Grudem
This quote sums up what I've been thinking so well. My goals is to serve God wherever the Lord can best use me for His purpose and that is how I can best glorify Him.
This quote sums up what I've been thinking so well. My goals is to serve God wherever the Lord can best use me for His purpose and that is how I can best glorify Him.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
God is for Us!
"Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us."
Psalm 62: 8
It's easy to look on my problems and concerns as a test from the Lord or another bothersome temptation which I must resist. Instead of running to Him, I'm more likely to run from Him as though the temptation or trial is a sign of failure on my part. That is lie! God is concerned about every detail and He is my refuge!
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us."
Psalm 62: 8
It's easy to look on my problems and concerns as a test from the Lord or another bothersome temptation which I must resist. Instead of running to Him, I'm more likely to run from Him as though the temptation or trial is a sign of failure on my part. That is lie! God is concerned about every detail and He is my refuge!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
God, Love, and Us
8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
19 We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19
God has always loved us, even when we didn't/don't love Him. In some ways it's similar to the unrequited love one might feel for a crush, where you love another regardless of how they feel about you. The difference is that we usually fall in love based on our limited knowledge of the other or who we think they are. God knows absolutely everything about us and still chooses to love us. We can "fall out of love" with the other as we learn more about them or when they don't live up to our expectations. We may fail to love God, but His steadfast love never fails because He's already aware of all our failings.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Psalm 34:3
Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together! Psalm 34:3
The one thing I desire above all else is to love God and love people without an agenda
God loved me before I loved him.
The one thing I desire above all else is to love God and love people without an agenda
God loved me before I loved him.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Rash Oathes
"Or if anyone utters with his lips a rash oath to do evil or to do good..." Leviticus 5:4
Even a rash oath to do good is sinful. All oathes should be carefully considered before being uttered. Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no.
Even a rash oath to do good is sinful. All oathes should be carefully considered before being uttered. Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Psalm 18:25-26
With the merciful you show yourself merciful;
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
with the purified you show yourself pure;
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous
It's easy to think of God as different when comparing the Old and New Testaments, as though God has changed, but it's not God that is changed, it's the covenant. The New Testament is the fulfillment of the Old Testament. Instead of His people failing to keep all of His laws and commandments, Christ has paid the penalty for our failure. Christ has bestowed mercy on us, making us pure and blameless and only those who fail to see that who will continue to see God as tortuous.
with the blameless man you show yourself blameless;
with the purified you show yourself pure;
and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous
It's easy to think of God as different when comparing the Old and New Testaments, as though God has changed, but it's not God that is changed, it's the covenant. The New Testament is the fulfillment of the Old Testament. Instead of His people failing to keep all of His laws and commandments, Christ has paid the penalty for our failure. Christ has bestowed mercy on us, making us pure and blameless and only those who fail to see that who will continue to see God as tortuous.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Genesis 1-25 & Psalms 1-7
"And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing." Genesis 12:2
God blesses us in order for us to be a blessing, both to the Lord (by bringing Him glory) and to others.
"You have put more joy in my heart than they when their grain and wine abound." Psalms 4:7
My joy comes not from the abundance of my possessions, nor the wages of my work, but simply from the Lord. He is more than enough!
God blesses us in order for us to be a blessing, both to the Lord (by bringing Him glory) and to others.
"You have put more joy in my heart than they when their grain and wine abound." Psalms 4:7
My joy comes not from the abundance of my possessions, nor the wages of my work, but simply from the Lord. He is more than enough!
Monday, June 1, 2009
1 Bible 52 Days (June & July)
I borrowed this from Nate Hughes' blog (whom I don't know personally, but we're acquainted by six or less degrees of separation numerous times over) and made some of my own modifications. I'm challenging myself to forgo the TV and read the whole Bible in 52 days (by the end of July to give myself some flexibility).
Red = Read
1 Genesis 1-25, Psalms 1-7
2 Genesis 26-50, Psalms 8-14
3 Exodus, Psalms 15-21
4 Leviticus, Psalms 22-28
5 Numbers, Psalms 29-34
6 Deuteronomy, Psalms 35-42
7 Joshua, Psalms 43-49
8 Judges, Psalms 50-55
9 Ruth, Psalms 56-62
10 1 Samuel, Psalms 63-70
11 2 Samuel, Psalms 71-77
12 1 Kings, Psalms 78-84
13 2 Kings, Psalms 85-91
14 1 Chronicles, Psalms 92-98
15 2 Chronicles, Psalms 99-105
16 Ezra, Psalms 106-112
17 Nehemiah, Psalms 113-118
18 Esther, Psalms 119
19 Job , Psalms 120-126
20 Ecclesiastes, Psalms 127-133
21 Song of Songs, Psalms 134-140
22 Isaiah 1-39 , Psalms 141-147
23 Isaiah 40-66, Psalms 148-150
24 Jeremiah 1-29, Proverbs 1-2
25 Jeremiah 30-52, Proverbs 3-4
26 Lamentations, Proverbs 5
27 Ezekiel 1-24, Proverbs 6
28 Ezekiel 25-48, Proverbs 7
29 Daniel, Proverbs 8
30 Hosea, Proverbs 9
31 Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Proverbs 10
32 Micah, Nahum, Proverbs 11
33 Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Proverbs 12
34 Zechariah, Proverbs 13
35 Malachi, Proverbs 14
36 Matthew, Proverbs 15
37 Mark, Proverbs 16
38 Luke, Proverbs 17
39 John, Proverbs 18
40 Acts, Proverbs 19
41 Romans, Proverbs 20
42 1 Corinthians, Proverbs 21
43 2 Corinthians, Proverbs 22
44 Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Proverbs 23
45 1 & 2 Thess, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Proverbs 24
46 Hebrews, Proverbs 25
47 James, Proverbs 26
48 1 Peter, Proverbs 27
49 2 Peter, Proverbs 28
50 1 John, Proverbs 29
51 2 John, 3 John, Jude, Proverbs 30
52 Revelation, Proverbs 31
Red = Read
1 Genesis 1-25, Psalms 1-7
2 Genesis 26-50, Psalms 8-14
3 Exodus, Psalms 15-21
4 Leviticus, Psalms 22-28
5 Numbers, Psalms 29-34
6 Deuteronomy, Psalms 35-42
7 Joshua, Psalms 43-49
8 Judges, Psalms 50-55
9 Ruth, Psalms 56-62
10 1 Samuel, Psalms 63-70
11 2 Samuel, Psalms 71-77
12 1 Kings, Psalms 78-84
13 2 Kings, Psalms 85-91
14 1 Chronicles, Psalms 92-98
15 2 Chronicles, Psalms 99-105
16 Ezra, Psalms 106-112
17 Nehemiah, Psalms 113-118
18 Esther, Psalms 119
19 Job , Psalms 120-126
20 Ecclesiastes, Psalms 127-133
21 Song of Songs, Psalms 134-140
22 Isaiah 1-39 , Psalms 141-147
23 Isaiah 40-66, Psalms 148-150
24 Jeremiah 1-29, Proverbs 1-2
25 Jeremiah 30-52, Proverbs 3-4
26 Lamentations, Proverbs 5
27 Ezekiel 1-24, Proverbs 6
28 Ezekiel 25-48, Proverbs 7
29 Daniel, Proverbs 8
30 Hosea, Proverbs 9
31 Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Proverbs 10
32 Micah, Nahum, Proverbs 11
33 Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Proverbs 12
34 Zechariah, Proverbs 13
35 Malachi, Proverbs 14
36 Matthew, Proverbs 15
37 Mark, Proverbs 16
38 Luke, Proverbs 17
39 John, Proverbs 18
40 Acts, Proverbs 19
41 Romans, Proverbs 20
42 1 Corinthians, Proverbs 21
43 2 Corinthians, Proverbs 22
44 Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Proverbs 23
45 1 & 2 Thess, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Proverbs 24
46 Hebrews, Proverbs 25
47 James, Proverbs 26
48 1 Peter, Proverbs 27
49 2 Peter, Proverbs 28
50 1 John, Proverbs 29
51 2 John, 3 John, Jude, Proverbs 30
52 Revelation, Proverbs 31
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Three Sixty-Five
I'll be 29 next week (30 next year). I'm by no means old. I'm older than some, but still younger than most. I don't have the life I dreamed of at 14, nor the one I dreaded at 22 and I praise the Lord on both accounts. I have an abundant, challenging, grace-soaked, love-filled life which could only be possible through Christ. I'm a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a friend to many. I don't have everything I want (who does?), but He certainly has provided more than enough of everything I need. He has blessed me far more than I deserve. And to think of all the kicking and screaming He's put up with from this simple-minded gal just so He could wow me.
In the next year (before the big 3-0. I refuse to panic, but I won't deny the weight of such a milestone), I plan to be more intentional with the time, choices, and opportunities the Lord gives me each day. I need to get rid of the TV, loss 60 lbs (5lbs per month is realistic and healthy), return to Russia(n) (perhaps the country, but at least the language), spend more time with Him (allowing Him to equip me) and follow Him as He lovingly guides me further outside of my comfort zone.
If I've learned anything thus far, it's that the Lord is truly is faithful even when I am faithless. Life is not a matter of killing time between milestones and major life events. All of life is preparation for eternity.
7Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die:8Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,9lest I be full and deny you and say, "Who is the LORD?"or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.
(Proverbs 30:7-9 ESV)
8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
(Micah 6:8 NIV)
Lord, help me to focus on you each day rather than what you might have in store decades, years, months, weeks or even days from now.
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
(2 Timothy 2:13 NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23).
If I'm going to get wrong sometimes, if I'm going to make an error in judgement, please let me err on the side of grace rather than pride.
22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
(2 Timothy 2:22)
In the next year (before the big 3-0. I refuse to panic, but I won't deny the weight of such a milestone), I plan to be more intentional with the time, choices, and opportunities the Lord gives me each day. I need to get rid of the TV, loss 60 lbs (5lbs per month is realistic and healthy), return to Russia(n) (perhaps the country, but at least the language), spend more time with Him (allowing Him to equip me) and follow Him as He lovingly guides me further outside of my comfort zone.
If I've learned anything thus far, it's that the Lord is truly is faithful even when I am faithless. Life is not a matter of killing time between milestones and major life events. All of life is preparation for eternity.
7Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die:8Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,9lest I be full and deny you and say, "Who is the LORD?"or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.
(Proverbs 30:7-9 ESV)
8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
(Micah 6:8 NIV)
Lord, help me to focus on you each day rather than what you might have in store decades, years, months, weeks or even days from now.
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
(2 Timothy 2:13 NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23).
If I'm going to get wrong sometimes, if I'm going to make an error in judgement, please let me err on the side of grace rather than pride.
22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
(2 Timothy 2:22)
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Walking by The Spirit
16But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
Galatians 5:16-17
Before Christ was crucified, He told us of the Holy Spirit who would come upon believers after His departure. All believers have this Spirit. When we choose to walk by the Spirit, we choose to listen to the Spirit rather than our selfish, temporal, instant-gratification-seeking flesh. Like everyone else, I know what I should do, what the Spirit tells me to do, but I often turn to the easier, fleshier alternative. However, if I were to obey the Spirit more often, I'd surely find it easier to battle the sinful desires of my flesh since the desires of the the Spirit are against the flesh. There is no legalism here, nor do I expect perfection. If perfection were possible, I would not need Christ, but I do wish to walk worthy of His sacrifice, of His name.
Galatians 5:16-17
Before Christ was crucified, He told us of the Holy Spirit who would come upon believers after His departure. All believers have this Spirit. When we choose to walk by the Spirit, we choose to listen to the Spirit rather than our selfish, temporal, instant-gratification-seeking flesh. Like everyone else, I know what I should do, what the Spirit tells me to do, but I often turn to the easier, fleshier alternative. However, if I were to obey the Spirit more often, I'd surely find it easier to battle the sinful desires of my flesh since the desires of the the Spirit are against the flesh. There is no legalism here, nor do I expect perfection. If perfection were possible, I would not need Christ, but I do wish to walk worthy of His sacrifice, of His name.
Eternal Value & Marriage
17Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.
1 Corinthians 7:17-19 (ESV)
Marriage has become a distraction and a source of jealously and discontentment for me. While it is not wrong for me to want to be married, it is wrong for me to make such an idol out of it. Whether I am single or married, slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised has no eternal value. Keeping the commands of God, being a slave to Christ is the only thing that will truly matter in eternity and they are also the only things that can bring me true purpose and passion.
With that in mind, I will stop seeking to be married. Instead I will seek divine enslavement to Christ. If I meet a fellow slave to Christ who I'd rather live with than live without and the feeling is mutual, I will marry. As it stands now, there are only crushes I would rather live without.
1 Corinthians 7:17-19 (ESV)
Marriage has become a distraction and a source of jealously and discontentment for me. While it is not wrong for me to want to be married, it is wrong for me to make such an idol out of it. Whether I am single or married, slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised has no eternal value. Keeping the commands of God, being a slave to Christ is the only thing that will truly matter in eternity and they are also the only things that can bring me true purpose and passion.
With that in mind, I will stop seeking to be married. Instead I will seek divine enslavement to Christ. If I meet a fellow slave to Christ who I'd rather live with than live without and the feeling is mutual, I will marry. As it stands now, there are only crushes I would rather live without.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Truth in Love
So, I've got some extra funds burning a hole in my savings account. There's enough to buy one round trip ticket to just about anywhere my heart desires. Where does my heart desire to go? Croatia, of course. However, I spoke with Stevo this morning and he thinks that the English camps would be too fast-paced and tiring for me. I'd have to agree. My heart may be up for anything, but this body is in need of down time and naps. Stevo speaks the truth in love well (at least he did this morning). He spoke the truth out of concern for me and the team as a whole and I felt even more loved at the end of the conversation than at the beginning. I won't being going to Croatia this summer, but I will be sending all my prayers, love, and support instead.
Our Lord is far too gracious to me. I am beyond blessed by those who, by God's grace, are able to lovingly speak the truth into my life.
15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. - Ephesians 4:15 - 16 (NIV).
Originally, I was going to end this with only verse 15 (which I know may be somewhat out of context in this situation, but the concept of speaking the truth in love still applies), but verse 16 speaks so well about the parts we all play in working for the Kingdom as a whole.
Our Lord is far too gracious to me. I am beyond blessed by those who, by God's grace, are able to lovingly speak the truth into my life.
15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. - Ephesians 4:15 - 16 (NIV).
Originally, I was going to end this with only verse 15 (which I know may be somewhat out of context in this situation, but the concept of speaking the truth in love still applies), but verse 16 speaks so well about the parts we all play in working for the Kingdom as a whole.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Fortuitous Marriage
The author profile for Fyodor Dostoevsky in Brothers Karamazov ('The' is unnecessarily added in translation) describes his marriage to Anna Snitkina as "fortuitous", crediting the relationship with giving him the emotional stability following a period of depression to complete many of his great works.
Fortuitous: lucky, fortunate, an unexpected blessing.
Fort: a place where one prepares for and retreats from battle. A place of strengthening and refreshment.
If I marry, let it be a fortuitous one.
Fortuitous: lucky, fortunate, an unexpected blessing.
Fort: a place where one prepares for and retreats from battle. A place of strengthening and refreshment.
If I marry, let it be a fortuitous one.
Sending Missionaries = Sending My Friends
I have lunch/dinner with a friend of mine every Tuesday and we often talk about Whitton. A few weeks ago, I was telling her about how much money the WABC family gave to missions in 2008 (beyond tithing and that included in the general budget). She says to me "You don't just send money, you send people". And then today in Sunday School, this weeks ABC of God was U for Unchanging (because God is unchanging). We were talking about good and bad changes when Alice says, "..and sometimes your friends move away."
She's right, sometimes your friends move away (which is difficult at any age). For those of us at WABC, one thing for sure is that it's really just a matter of time before our unchanging Lord will ask us to say yet another bittersweet goodbye so that He can change the lives of others for eternity.
The only problem with this is we don't just send people, we send my friends. When I meet new people at WABC the standard "nice to meet you" really implies, "Hi I'm Sam (or Samantha) and the Lord will be sending me out in 3 years, six months, and two days. In the mean time, we'll become the dearest of friends and I'll be sure to take a little piece of your heart with me when I go. "
The only saving grace in all of it is that they also leave a little piece of their heart with all of us. My heart doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, but there sure are a lot of little pieces of it everywhere.
She's right, sometimes your friends move away (which is difficult at any age). For those of us at WABC, one thing for sure is that it's really just a matter of time before our unchanging Lord will ask us to say yet another bittersweet goodbye so that He can change the lives of others for eternity.
The only problem with this is we don't just send people, we send my friends. When I meet new people at WABC the standard "nice to meet you" really implies, "Hi I'm Sam (or Samantha) and the Lord will be sending me out in 3 years, six months, and two days. In the mean time, we'll become the dearest of friends and I'll be sure to take a little piece of your heart with me when I go. "
The only saving grace in all of it is that they also leave a little piece of their heart with all of us. My heart doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, but there sure are a lot of little pieces of it everywhere.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Life Experience - Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
My life is not what I thought it would be. Like many people, I tend to be paralyzed by the myriad of choices in front of me rather than rejoicing in my freedom to take just about any idea and run with it. The only thing I have ever been / am sure of is that I want to serve the Lord and bring Him glory each day. For so long, I let Satan, the father of lies and confusion, twist this desire with guilt, fear, and a lot of my own misunderstanding about who God is and what He wants from me.
As wonderful as wise counsel is, only experience can truly teach you how faithful, loving, gracious, and sovereign the Lord really is. When I graduated from college, I felt like I was walking toward the edge of a cliff into the abyss below. As I look back on the 5 years since then, I would not trade a day for any other life I could have possibly imagined (or feared). I could not be more grateful for the LIFE He has given me. I've learned that I really am continually walking toward the edge, but rather than walking out beyond His grasp, I'm merely walking toward the edge of my own understanding. The mysterious, glorious truth is that with each step forward the Lord extends this edge just that much further beneath my feet.
God is God and that is more than enough for Him to be ever worthy of my praise, but when I look back on the entirety of my relatively short life thus far, I can also see the abundance of experience which has taught me just how deserving He is of all my praise, trust and obedience.
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Precious Valentine
"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
your love for the Lord is contagious -
it's true."
That was my valentine from Sarah & Eric. Not only is it such a nice warm fuzzy, but it's truly how I want to be remembered. If nothing else, I want to be a woman after God's own heart.
Home group was a blast tonight. The mystery dinner was delicious and gestures was hilarious! The Lord has truly blessed me with an over abundance of love and community.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Present with the Lord
31But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you, 32'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead but of the living." (Matthew 22:31-32)
He IS the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. These men are dead, but He is still in relationship with them. They are absent from us, from this earth, but somewhere they are present with the Lord. To be dead is to present with the Lord. Praise Jesus!
6So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6-8)
He IS the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. These men are dead, but He is still in relationship with them. They are absent from us, from this earth, but somewhere they are present with the Lord. To be dead is to present with the Lord. Praise Jesus!
6So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, 7for we walk by faith, not by sight. 8Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:6-8)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Spiritual Attack
That's what this crush is - a spiritual attack.
I have no reason to feel this way, nor do I want to feel this way. These feelings are not from the Lord. Satan on the other hand, loves to discourage and distract believers.
I shouldn't be surprised. Leaving my comfort zone not only leaves me vulnerable to others, but to the evil one as well. The higher I exalt Christ, the better target I become. God has created me to be a wife for someone, someone whose burden for His kingdom mirrors my own. Satan would like me to believe that God has forgotten me or that there must be something wrong with me because he isn't interested. Or worse yet that I'm confused about the burden God has given me. These are all lies from the Father of Lies and yet I'm more likely to be upset with the Lord than to stand firm and place the blame where it truly belongs.
This is a spirtual attack and the Lord has given me every piece of armour I need to stand firm until He grants me victory.
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ( Ephesians 6:10-12)
8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:8-10)
I have no reason to feel this way, nor do I want to feel this way. These feelings are not from the Lord. Satan on the other hand, loves to discourage and distract believers.
I shouldn't be surprised. Leaving my comfort zone not only leaves me vulnerable to others, but to the evil one as well. The higher I exalt Christ, the better target I become. God has created me to be a wife for someone, someone whose burden for His kingdom mirrors my own. Satan would like me to believe that God has forgotten me or that there must be something wrong with me because he isn't interested. Or worse yet that I'm confused about the burden God has given me. These are all lies from the Father of Lies and yet I'm more likely to be upset with the Lord than to stand firm and place the blame where it truly belongs.
This is a spirtual attack and the Lord has given me every piece of armour I need to stand firm until He grants me victory.
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ( Ephesians 6:10-12)
8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:8-10)
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Running Out of Excuses
The Lord is just determined to pull me out of my comfort zone and I'm finally seeing the blessing in letting Him do this. I went to the House again tonight. I haven't been feeling well, so I probably wouldn't have gone except I'd already agreed to give Charitie a ride. And then Nehemiah calls me about going, which is great because I was totally gonna call him. It looks like I'm not the only one being called out of her comfort zone.
We talked about how to be a blessing to others:
1) Over tipping (20%)
2) Being in the Word so that we are given the strength and the blessing to do this. I've really been convicted about this lately. Even if I have to leave the house early or come home later after work (there are just too many distractions here or my bed is too comfy).
3) I've given a dollar which I must give away to someone in need.
I also went to afterhouse at the Magley's. Again I was tempted not to go. I needed to take Charitie home (she was grounded) and I'd never been there before and didn't have directions. Well, after I got gas it was only 9:30 and since I have GPS and a WABC directory I had no real reason not to go. After all, I'm certainly not going to get to know people better by going home (I'm the only one who lives here).
It really is about showing up, reaching out, and trusting the Lord to do the rest.
Do I have to do everything? No. Do I have to be everything to everyone? No. Do I need to go where the Spirit leads? Yes. Do I over think things and read too much into everything? Yes. Do I serve (and serve with) a most gracious and loving Heavenly Father who has only my best interest and the interest of others at heart? ABSOLUTELY, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!
We talked about how to be a blessing to others:
1) Over tipping (20%)
2) Being in the Word so that we are given the strength and the blessing to do this. I've really been convicted about this lately. Even if I have to leave the house early or come home later after work (there are just too many distractions here or my bed is too comfy).
3) I've given a dollar which I must give away to someone in need.
I also went to afterhouse at the Magley's. Again I was tempted not to go. I needed to take Charitie home (she was grounded) and I'd never been there before and didn't have directions. Well, after I got gas it was only 9:30 and since I have GPS and a WABC directory I had no real reason not to go. After all, I'm certainly not going to get to know people better by going home (I'm the only one who lives here).
It really is about showing up, reaching out, and trusting the Lord to do the rest.
Do I have to do everything? No. Do I have to be everything to everyone? No. Do I need to go where the Spirit leads? Yes. Do I over think things and read too much into everything? Yes. Do I serve (and serve with) a most gracious and loving Heavenly Father who has only my best interest and the interest of others at heart? ABSOLUTELY, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!
DeeDee @ Taco Bell
Before I forget. I met DeeDee at Taco Bell this afternoon. She invited me to Sunday night church at 40th St. & Monte Vista (I've already forgotten the name of the church). I was catching up on my one year bible reading. I saw her as I was about to leave. I asked God to let me know if He wanted me to talk to her. She actually spoke to me first. She asked if I got my studying done. I told her that I was reading the Bible in one year and even showed her the one-year Bible I have and the ESV study bible I had with me.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Immersed In the Gospel
Whenever I read texts from Oswald Chambers or books such as Pilgrim's Progress, I'm amazed at how well these writings from over a century ago speak so well about man's current condition. There truly is "nothing new under the sun" and no temptation which is not "common to all mankind". Both man and Christ are the same as they were 2000 years ago. How has man not grown in Christ in the last 2000 years? We've had this long to study Him, to know Him, and yet we have not moved an inch! Is it because we refuse to be immersed in the gospel? Is it because instead of plunging even deeper, each generation moves even closer back to shore? Is it because we've dulled our taste buds for the holiness of Christ and instead of craving more, we're satisfied with less?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Now That's Romantic
Commitment means looking past the 3 billion other women in the world and zooming in on one person — studying her, knowing her, and learning to love her deeply while she goes through the same process with you. - Steve Waters, Boundless webzine
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Silly Moses
1 Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up."
4 When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am."
7 The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.
10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
4 When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!" And Moses said, "Here I am."
7 The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.
10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
Exodus 3: 1-4, 7 & 10 (NIV)
God had just appeared to Moses and spoken to him audibly and told him how He was going to use him to free the Israelites and yet Moses was actually concerned about his own qualifications to accomplish such a task
Hello! God himself just spoke to you, but you don't think He's capable of using you to free the Israelites, oh ye of little faith!
The silliest thing is that I can see this so clearly in Moses life and yet I am so often guilty of the same faithless thoughts.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
The Body of Believers
Most of this is a letter I wrote to Zach after he spoke at the House. I wanted to record my thoughts here and expand on them a little more.
I really enjoyed your talk tonight. You echoed a lot of the things our Lord has been teaching me. Especially, that just being part of the Body is a huge blessing. Everyone at Whitton has been a huge blessing to me since my very first Sunday, even if they aren't trying to be or even know me personally. Even if you don't know the peaks and valleys of everyone's journey with Christ, just seeing how faithful He is in all our lives and how we all endure trials and enjoy the sweet life He gives each one of us, is filled with lessons and encouragement for all believers.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the our youth group and the students at Phx Christian, how important it is that they be surrounded and loved by older/more mature believers who have been where they are. It's not their parents can't be a great source of wisdom and encouragement, but just like all of us, they need to see the gospel lived out by a myriad of other believers as well.
When I come to girls bible study on Tuesday or the House on Saturday, I'm not there to preach, but to simply show up and live life with these younger believers. Relationships can only begin to be formed when we show up on a regular basis. I'm content to let the Lord reveal what ever He has in mind in His own time frame. I refuse to over think this. So much of my anxiety comes from running ahead of Him.
As I was sitting by Charitie tonight (whom the Lord not only put in my life, but literally placed in my car as I drove her to school for a year and 1/2, while she talked to me non-stop for 20 mins 5 days a week. I'd have to be really dense not to see His hand in our friendship.), I noticed that while she appeared to be busy brushing her hair or trying to talk to me and not paying attention to you, she was paying attention to me (reading the notes I was taking). If I'm focused on Christ and she sees that, that's probably a more powerful example than anything I could say to her.
I really enjoyed your talk tonight. You echoed a lot of the things our Lord has been teaching me. Especially, that just being part of the Body is a huge blessing. Everyone at Whitton has been a huge blessing to me since my very first Sunday, even if they aren't trying to be or even know me personally. Even if you don't know the peaks and valleys of everyone's journey with Christ, just seeing how faithful He is in all our lives and how we all endure trials and enjoy the sweet life He gives each one of us, is filled with lessons and encouragement for all believers.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the our youth group and the students at Phx Christian, how important it is that they be surrounded and loved by older/more mature believers who have been where they are. It's not their parents can't be a great source of wisdom and encouragement, but just like all of us, they need to see the gospel lived out by a myriad of other believers as well.
When I come to girls bible study on Tuesday or the House on Saturday, I'm not there to preach, but to simply show up and live life with these younger believers. Relationships can only begin to be formed when we show up on a regular basis. I'm content to let the Lord reveal what ever He has in mind in His own time frame. I refuse to over think this. So much of my anxiety comes from running ahead of Him.
As I was sitting by Charitie tonight (whom the Lord not only put in my life, but literally placed in my car as I drove her to school for a year and 1/2, while she talked to me non-stop for 20 mins 5 days a week. I'd have to be really dense not to see His hand in our friendship.), I noticed that while she appeared to be busy brushing her hair or trying to talk to me and not paying attention to you, she was paying attention to me (reading the notes I was taking). If I'm focused on Christ and she sees that, that's probably a more powerful example than anything I could say to her.
Resolutions Update
Read through the Bible in one year - I'm a few days behind again, but I'm still committed to it. I'll catch up today.
Workout at Curves 3x per week - Accomplished in January (12x) and there's a prize for those who workout 12x in February, so I'm looking forward to another consistent month.
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy). - I've lost 2.5 pounds of my 5lb monthly goal, but I do feel better and stronger and at least I didn't gain weight. I just need to be more intentional about what I'm eating.
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me. - I have been pretty tired lately, but if I show up, the Lord is faithful to supply the energy. I've joined girls bible study on Tuesday nights and I'm looking forward to Brothers Karamazov.
Workout at Curves 3x per week - Accomplished in January (12x) and there's a prize for those who workout 12x in February, so I'm looking forward to another consistent month.
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy). - I've lost 2.5 pounds of my 5lb monthly goal, but I do feel better and stronger and at least I didn't gain weight. I just need to be more intentional about what I'm eating.
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me. - I have been pretty tired lately, but if I show up, the Lord is faithful to supply the energy. I've joined girls bible study on Tuesday nights and I'm looking forward to Brothers Karamazov.
Friday, January 30, 2009
25 Random Facts About Me
1) I didn't get my drivers license til I was 20
2. I played the trumpet in grade school and Jr. high
3. I have a dog named Koshka (Russian for cat)
4. And a cat named Monkey (short for monkeymew)
5. I am directionally challenged
6. I've been to Moscow three times, but only needed a passport once
7. I love my church family and my co-workers
8. I never got 12 year molars nor wisdom teeth
9. I smell my deodorant before I put it on each morning
10. I lived here a year before I realized I didn't have any salt
11. I recite the alphabet a few times each week
12. I'm really very shy, but it's not worth it, so I aim to overcome it in every situation.
13. I have a wonderful, challenging, grace-soaked, abundant life which is only possible thru Christ. Without Him there just isn't any other explanation for it.
14. My first job was at Baskin Robbins
15. I have three nieces
16. Biologically, I could be my youngest niece's mother.
17. I once did my laundry in the bath tub, without a dryer, for 10 weeks
18. My car is purple. Some would say it's blue.
19. I've lived in AZ all my life, but I speak more Russian than Spanish
20. I failed chemistry in high school
21. I teach sunday school for 1st - 3rd graders
22. I've been a bridesmaid twice
23. I can't stand geometry
24. I love algebra
25. I'd like to get married on a Sunday after church
2. I played the trumpet in grade school and Jr. high
3. I have a dog named Koshka (Russian for cat)
4. And a cat named Monkey (short for monkeymew)
5. I am directionally challenged
6. I've been to Moscow three times, but only needed a passport once
7. I love my church family and my co-workers
8. I never got 12 year molars nor wisdom teeth
9. I smell my deodorant before I put it on each morning
10. I lived here a year before I realized I didn't have any salt
11. I recite the alphabet a few times each week
12. I'm really very shy, but it's not worth it, so I aim to overcome it in every situation.
13. I have a wonderful, challenging, grace-soaked, abundant life which is only possible thru Christ. Without Him there just isn't any other explanation for it.
14. My first job was at Baskin Robbins
15. I have three nieces
16. Biologically, I could be my youngest niece's mother.
17. I once did my laundry in the bath tub, without a dryer, for 10 weeks
18. My car is purple. Some would say it's blue.
19. I've lived in AZ all my life, but I speak more Russian than Spanish
20. I failed chemistry in high school
21. I teach sunday school for 1st - 3rd graders
22. I've been a bridesmaid twice
23. I can't stand geometry
24. I love algebra
25. I'd like to get married on a Sunday after church
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Great Question
17But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, 18because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us. 19For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? 20For you are our glory and joy. 1 Thess. 2:17-20
"What is your calling when it comes to living the gospel in your life? What will be your "joy and boasting" when you see Jesus face to face?"
This is just a great question. There are so many ways I could answer this, and yet attempting to left me even more speechless. What if I asked myself that question every morning?
When I see Jesus face to face, I will only be able to boast in a life that He alone made possible. When I say that without Him I'd be in a rubber room, it's not nearly as big of an exaggeration as you might think. And the truth is I don't even have to take it that far. Without Him, I'd be a hermit, consumed by my own neurosis. I'd be too wrapped up in myself to embrace the community and the abundant life that He has given me. And let's not forget the daily tasks filled with humble expectancy He sets in front of me, not because I'm so great, but because of how well my weakness shows off His strength and brings Him glory!
Tonight was great, another grace filled opportunity to connect with fellow believers. Props to Arica for texting me from her sick bed to tell me of the location change and props to the Holy Spirit for encouraging me to show up late rather than using it as an excuse to go to bed early.
The Lord is certainly at work!
"What is your calling when it comes to living the gospel in your life? What will be your "joy and boasting" when you see Jesus face to face?"
This is just a great question. There are so many ways I could answer this, and yet attempting to left me even more speechless. What if I asked myself that question every morning?
When I see Jesus face to face, I will only be able to boast in a life that He alone made possible. When I say that without Him I'd be in a rubber room, it's not nearly as big of an exaggeration as you might think. And the truth is I don't even have to take it that far. Without Him, I'd be a hermit, consumed by my own neurosis. I'd be too wrapped up in myself to embrace the community and the abundant life that He has given me. And let's not forget the daily tasks filled with humble expectancy He sets in front of me, not because I'm so great, but because of how well my weakness shows off His strength and brings Him glory!
Tonight was great, another grace filled opportunity to connect with fellow believers. Props to Arica for texting me from her sick bed to tell me of the location change and props to the Holy Spirit for encouraging me to show up late rather than using it as an excuse to go to bed early.
The Lord is certainly at work!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A Small Still Voice In The Midst of The Storm
24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14: 24 - 31 (NLT)
Peter knew that Jesus could/would enable him to walk on water and yet he doubted Him in midstream and began to sink. Why do I talk myself out of faith so easily? Just because Jesus didn't calm the storm before or during Peter's walk on water, doesn't mean that Peter wouldn't have been able to continue walking toward Him.
The Lord's will is often a small still voice in the midst of a great storm.
PC is up against a great storm right now, but the small still voice tells me that His ministry at PC is far from over.
I'm sometimes confused and frustrated about being single or whether I'll ever be married, but the small still voice keeps telling me that He does have a husband in store for me even if I'm approaching 30 and haven't met him yet.
I'm nervous about the new ministry opportunities He has put in front of me and about the changes ahead, but the small still voice keeps reminding me that this is about Him, not me.
The weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like it to even though I'm literally working my butt off, but the small still voice tells me to keep going, to make smaller changes over time, that it will be worth it in the end and that this time the change will be permanent.
In the midst of the storm, His small still voice calms my heart and restores my soul!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Trust & Obedience
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about trust and obedience this week. If I trust the Lord, I need to obey Him even if I'm nervous and don't fully understand why I need to do what He's asking. The fabulous thing is that once I obey Him, this increases my trust in Him since I get to experience His faithfulness as well as the lesson/task/divine appointment He had in mind.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Celebration
"Celebration is the genuinely cheerful expression of remembrance" - Nathan Rehm
If that's the case, I celebrate a lot. I do not know what the Lord's plans are, nor what will happen to tomorrow, but I do know how faithful He has been. When I remember His faithfulness and rejoice in the abundance He has given me, I trust Him completely and know that He will continue to be faithful no matter what surprises tomorrow may bring.
If that's the case, I celebrate a lot. I do not know what the Lord's plans are, nor what will happen to tomorrow, but I do know how faithful He has been. When I remember His faithfulness and rejoice in the abundance He has given me, I trust Him completely and know that He will continue to be faithful no matter what surprises tomorrow may bring.
Spirit Led
Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
Galatians 5:25 (NLT)
The Spirit often speaks to me in a soft consistent manner, quite unlike the thunder I think I might sometimes prefer and is usually not interested in my own ideas or preferences. Like when Abbie decided to go to law school. I knew someone was needed to take over her teaching position in Sunday school and the Spirit kept suggesting that I volunteer. I suppose I could have ignored it, but I'm glad I didn't. The first two years were pretty tough for me. The actual hour on Sunday was great, the Lord continually showed up each week. (Btw, teaching others is a great way to feed yourself). It was the anxiety I felt about it on Friday/Saturday and the exhaustion I felt afterward. This year is different. I very honest with Chris about the anxiety I was feeling. It's not that I didn't want to teach, but that I wasn't sure I could handle it. And I was right. I can't handle it, but when I rely on His strength instead of my own, when I let the Spirit lead instead of trying to micro manage the outcome, the anxiety melts away.
4I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, 5that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge— 6even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you— 7so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 8 who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:4-8 (ESV)
"so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift" Christ has given me the grace and power to go wherever the Spirit leads, to allow Him to accomplish any task He puts in front of me. It's not that I'm gifted in every area, it's that He will gift me in whatever area He puts me in. This is fabulous since the Spirit is once again suggesting another area of ministry and stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone. He's been talking to me about WABC's high school/college ministry. I have no idea what He has in mind nor the level of involvement, but I will trust in Him, I will go wherever He leads me and humbly allow Him to use me.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Prayer
Lord,
I want to spend this life encouraging others, to love them because you loved me even while I was still just a sinner. I want to encourage WABC, individually and as a whole. The father of lies doesn't want me to do this, he'd rather I focus on my own needs and desires instead of supporting the ways in which You are at work at WABC. You want to unite us, he wants to divide us. You want to meet our needs as we feed, lead, and love one another. You've given me ears to hear and lips to lift others up. Help me to watch my tongue. Help me to listen more than I speak and when I speak, help me choose my words carefully instead of getting defensive or demanding. Lord, you led me to WABC, help me to fufill the purpose that you have for me there.
I wrote these words just over two years ago. My desire remains the same. I don't know what His plans are, but I do know how wonderful and gracious He is. All I want is to focus on Him and the humble expectancy of the tasks in front of me.
I want to spend this life encouraging others, to love them because you loved me even while I was still just a sinner. I want to encourage WABC, individually and as a whole. The father of lies doesn't want me to do this, he'd rather I focus on my own needs and desires instead of supporting the ways in which You are at work at WABC. You want to unite us, he wants to divide us. You want to meet our needs as we feed, lead, and love one another. You've given me ears to hear and lips to lift others up. Help me to watch my tongue. Help me to listen more than I speak and when I speak, help me choose my words carefully instead of getting defensive or demanding. Lord, you led me to WABC, help me to fufill the purpose that you have for me there.
I wrote these words just over two years ago. My desire remains the same. I don't know what His plans are, but I do know how wonderful and gracious He is. All I want is to focus on Him and the humble expectancy of the tasks in front of me.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Leisurely Coffee & Lingering Thoughts - Part One
I had Thursday off which offered me a wonderful opportunity to immerse in God's Word while leisurely sipping a peppermint mocha. I've committed to reading through the entire Bible this year and I was a few days behind. I even have a one-year Bible which provides me with some OT, NT, Psalms and Proverbs each day (which I bought in 2006 so it's time to get started). Why do I neglect time in the Word? It's so simple and beneficial and thought provoking and truly keeps me grounded in the gospel instead of this world. I ended up spending 4 hours praying, reading, and journaling (spellcheck doesn't think this is a real word. It's needs to a lesson on popular culture). The following is a myriad of highlights.
PC - I don't even know what to pray for. Of course I want this ministry to continue, to further Your impact on these families, but I also don't want to stand in Your way if You have something greater in store. May we allow You to mold us in your image even more. May we be good stewards and set aside man's wisdom and trust you. The foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man.
Tina & Russia - Lord, your people are the salt of the earth. How sad that Russia is missing this flavor. Move in their minds and their hearts. May Tina be a glorious example of Your love for them.
Lord, help me to seek you every day (every hour) instead of just frantically in my hour of need. Help me to fill my tank every day instead of waiting til I'm on empty.
Why didn't Abraham have other wives or why didn't he take Sarah's maid to bear children for him before God's promise of numerous descendants, which seemed to be customary in those days?
Abraham sacrifices a turtledove. What was the significance of turtledoves in the OT? Or are they mentioned in the 12 days of Christmas ( The two turtledoves represent the Old & New Testaments. I'm still getting Sunday school lessons out of this song) because of Abraham's sacrifice?
Vultures wanted Abraham's sacrifice (that which belongs to God) just as the world wants ours.
All of the waring tribes are descendants of Noah. The Kingdom of Heaven exists on earth were God's people live at peace with one another.
Be a woman of my word and Yes/No is all I'll ever need for others to know that I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Our justice, security, and provision comes from the Lord, what can man possibly take from us (fairly or not) that He cannot replace in abundance. What great gifts do I forfeit by trying to hold on to such earthly treasures?
The command to be perfect is meant to drive us to despair. Only then can we truly know our need for Christ.
Psalm 1:29-33 (NLT)
29 For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the Lord.
30 They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them.
31 Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes. 32 For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency. 33 But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.
I insist on my own way and have no one to blame, certainly not the Lord who already gives me grace upon grace, when I must bear the consequences.
Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar: Two Christians mistreat their servant in order to accomplish what they thought was God's will. God looks kindly on the servant and an everlasting division is born.
Abraham obeyed God immediately regarding circumcision. Why do I put off obedience til another day?
PC - I don't even know what to pray for. Of course I want this ministry to continue, to further Your impact on these families, but I also don't want to stand in Your way if You have something greater in store. May we allow You to mold us in your image even more. May we be good stewards and set aside man's wisdom and trust you. The foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man.
Tina & Russia - Lord, your people are the salt of the earth. How sad that Russia is missing this flavor. Move in their minds and their hearts. May Tina be a glorious example of Your love for them.
Lord, help me to seek you every day (every hour) instead of just frantically in my hour of need. Help me to fill my tank every day instead of waiting til I'm on empty.
Why didn't Abraham have other wives or why didn't he take Sarah's maid to bear children for him before God's promise of numerous descendants, which seemed to be customary in those days?
Abraham sacrifices a turtledove. What was the significance of turtledoves in the OT? Or are they mentioned in the 12 days of Christmas ( The two turtledoves represent the Old & New Testaments. I'm still getting Sunday school lessons out of this song) because of Abraham's sacrifice?
Vultures wanted Abraham's sacrifice (that which belongs to God) just as the world wants ours.
All of the waring tribes are descendants of Noah. The Kingdom of Heaven exists on earth were God's people live at peace with one another.
Be a woman of my word and Yes/No is all I'll ever need for others to know that I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Our justice, security, and provision comes from the Lord, what can man possibly take from us (fairly or not) that He cannot replace in abundance. What great gifts do I forfeit by trying to hold on to such earthly treasures?
The command to be perfect is meant to drive us to despair. Only then can we truly know our need for Christ.
Psalm 1:29-33 (NLT)
29 For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the Lord.
30 They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them.
31 Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes. 32 For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency. 33 But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.
I insist on my own way and have no one to blame, certainly not the Lord who already gives me grace upon grace, when I must bear the consequences.
Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar: Two Christians mistreat their servant in order to accomplish what they thought was God's will. God looks kindly on the servant and an everlasting division is born.
Abraham obeyed God immediately regarding circumcision. Why do I put off obedience til another day?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Single Frustration
I'm currently content with being single. I could not ask for a better life. The Lord, friends and family provide me with an abundance of love and care to fend off lonely moments and self absorption. What frustrates me most is when the wrong type of man insists on constantly flirting with me. Even if it's all in fun, it just reminds me that there are currently no quality men (men who share an equal burden for Christ and His kingdom) who seem to be even remotely interested in this quality woman of God.
The good news is he's agreed to knock it off. People can't respect your feelings if you don't speak up. And yes, it can be done in love and I didn't need to get all emotional or share all of my frustration to get my point across because not every feeling as to be shared (that's what my fabulous girlfriends are for).
The good news is he's agreed to knock it off. People can't respect your feelings if you don't speak up. And yes, it can be done in love and I didn't need to get all emotional or share all of my frustration to get my point across because not every feeling as to be shared (that's what my fabulous girlfriends are for).
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Goal
I need a goal. I can keep going to the gym and hope that I'll shed the weight, or I can set a goal and work toward it every single day. My goal is to lose 5lbs by February.
Russia
I went to prayer at the house this morning. I haven't been in a long while and I don't know why I make excuses not to go. It's so edifying and humbling. As we were praying for Tina's trip to Russia, I started to cry. I was thinking about Taelyn. She gets lavished with so much love, but these Russian orphans get so little of that. I thought about Tina's daughters and how they don't like to speak Russian. The truth is they probably didn't hear a lot of love in that language, it doesn't bring happy memories. But it's not just the babies. These childeren are a symptom of an entire culture, generations of people who do not know the love of Christ. America may not be a Christian society, but we all benefit from the multitudes who do know Him.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thankfulness
I can worry about what might be, but I'd rather be thankful. I'd rather be thankful for all the Lord has done for me and glad for the peaceful rest I find in Him. I'd rather be thankful for the abundance of love, fellowship, and family which fills my days, weeks, and years with such joy. I'd rather recall His faithfulness and the evidence of His fingerprints on every circumstance.
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
What is Faith?
What is Faith?
Where was Abraham's faith when he prepared to sacrifice Isaac? Did he have faith that the Lord would intervene before Abraham actually killed his only son? Or, did he trust that even if the Lord meant for Isaac to die that God was still in control and still capable of fulfilling the promises He had made to Abraham? The Lord had promised Abraham that he would be the father of numerous descendants and now He was asking him to sacrifice his only son. In man's wisdom, this makes no sense at all. How can Abraham be a father of numerous descendants if his only child is dead? Some people will say that having faith meant Abraham knew God would ultimately spare Isaac, but I don't think that faith as anything to do with belief that the Lord will bring about the specific outcomes we desire/deem necessary for His will to be done. Abraham's faith was evident in fact that he was willing to obey the Lord even if His instructions didn't seem to fall in line with His promises.
The school has been struggling a lot this year and we're definitely reaping the consequences of poor financial decisions made in prior years. We need $1 million to break even this year. If the Lord wants the ministry of PC to continue, He needs to show up in a major way. While we are currently planning for the 2009-2010 school year, the truth is that unless this deficit is covered, I might not have a job next year.
My boss has asked me where my faith is, as though I need to have faith that the Lord will cover this deficit. I don't know what the Lord's plans are, but I have faith that the Lord is in control no matter what happens. Having faith means that I'm not looking for another job just because this one might not last. I'm committed to this ministry until we close the doors or the Lords leads me elsewhere (one or the other, or both, which ever comes first). I never set out to work in Christian education, but once the Lord opened the door to work at PC, there was nothing else I wanted to do. I've been blessed and stretched by this experience every single day.
If I had to work elsewhere, it probably wouldn't be at another Christian school (my history with PC and the work which the Lord did in my own life through it, is what drives me to help provide the same opportunities for our students). However, now more than ever, I know I want to work and live for Christ. I could get a regular job, but if anything is going to wear me out, I'd rather be worn out by kingdom work (besides I'd probably be too easily distracted by the comfy lifestyle a regular job would bring). If I didn't work for another ministry, I'd look something (such as temp work or taxes) which would give me the flexibility to pursue short term missions. This life is just too short not to take Christ at His word and give Him my all.
Resolutions:
Read through the Bible in one year
Workout at Curves 3x per week
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy).
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me.
Where was Abraham's faith when he prepared to sacrifice Isaac? Did he have faith that the Lord would intervene before Abraham actually killed his only son? Or, did he trust that even if the Lord meant for Isaac to die that God was still in control and still capable of fulfilling the promises He had made to Abraham? The Lord had promised Abraham that he would be the father of numerous descendants and now He was asking him to sacrifice his only son. In man's wisdom, this makes no sense at all. How can Abraham be a father of numerous descendants if his only child is dead? Some people will say that having faith meant Abraham knew God would ultimately spare Isaac, but I don't think that faith as anything to do with belief that the Lord will bring about the specific outcomes we desire/deem necessary for His will to be done. Abraham's faith was evident in fact that he was willing to obey the Lord even if His instructions didn't seem to fall in line with His promises.
The school has been struggling a lot this year and we're definitely reaping the consequences of poor financial decisions made in prior years. We need $1 million to break even this year. If the Lord wants the ministry of PC to continue, He needs to show up in a major way. While we are currently planning for the 2009-2010 school year, the truth is that unless this deficit is covered, I might not have a job next year.
My boss has asked me where my faith is, as though I need to have faith that the Lord will cover this deficit. I don't know what the Lord's plans are, but I have faith that the Lord is in control no matter what happens. Having faith means that I'm not looking for another job just because this one might not last. I'm committed to this ministry until we close the doors or the Lords leads me elsewhere (one or the other, or both, which ever comes first). I never set out to work in Christian education, but once the Lord opened the door to work at PC, there was nothing else I wanted to do. I've been blessed and stretched by this experience every single day.
If I had to work elsewhere, it probably wouldn't be at another Christian school (my history with PC and the work which the Lord did in my own life through it, is what drives me to help provide the same opportunities for our students). However, now more than ever, I know I want to work and live for Christ. I could get a regular job, but if anything is going to wear me out, I'd rather be worn out by kingdom work (besides I'd probably be too easily distracted by the comfy lifestyle a regular job would bring). If I didn't work for another ministry, I'd look something (such as temp work or taxes) which would give me the flexibility to pursue short term missions. This life is just too short not to take Christ at His word and give Him my all.
Resolutions:
Read through the Bible in one year
Workout at Curves 3x per week
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy).
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)