Pleasing God

All I've ever wanted is to please God, not only to avoid punishment, but to simply bring Him joy. I thought this meant figuring out the one thing he want me to do with my life and pursuing it whole heartedly without fear. Talk about putting pressure on myself. Even if this were possible, it would not be pleasing to Him at all because without faith it is impossible to please God. Faith means that I should be seeking Him not just the work He has for me. Oh, He does want me to bear fruit, but I can't even begin to do this without abiding in Him.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. - Hebrews 11:6

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. - John 15:4

By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. - John 15:8

First comes faith then fruit.

Abiding in Christ

Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. - John 15:4

16All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

I am definitely task oriented. While this helps make me a good accountant, it does not help me to abide in Christ. I want to focus on the task, to prepare for the task instead of allowing the Lord to prepare my heart and be my source of strength. Abiding in Him is not a task to be completed or chore to be checked off. It's the very thing that competently equips me for every good work.

Five Truths

God is who He says He is.

God can do what He says he can do.

I am who God says I am.

I can do all things through Christ.

God's word is alive and active in me.

- Beth Moore, Believing God

Faith

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,

the conviction of things not seen.

Hebrews 11:1

And without faith it is impossible to please God,

for whoever would draw near to God must believe that

he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

Hebrews 11:6

I've been teaching (and learning) about these verses in Sunday school. One thing I've learned while teaching Sunday School is that whether your 8 or 28, the lessons are the same. While the Lord is certainly mysterious and his ways often beyond my full understanding, the lessons he wants us to learn are quite simple. It's living them out that can be as complicated as I make it. It all comes down to faith. It only gets complicated when my pride, selfishness and expectations get in the way.

That's why I have trouble sharing the gospel. Not because it isn't good news, it's great news. It's that humans want the answers to such tough questions before they're willing to believe. My problem is that I don't have those answers, and I'm not sure anybody really does. While my life experience has given my numerous examples that the Lord can be trusted, that doesn't mean that your faith journey will play out the same way, or that I don't still have questions.

On hearing it, many of his disciples said,

"This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?"...

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go?

You have the words of eternal life.

We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

John 6:60 & 66-69

My Left Leg(s)

I now have two bum legs. For those keeping score, that is one more than usual.

I've had mild cerebral palsy on my left side since birth. Normally, my right side compensates for this very well. Those who don't know about my CP would assume that I simply have a limp as though I've stubbed my toe or twisted my ankle. They don't recognize a tell-tell gait of cerebral palsy. Because the muscles on my left side aren't flexible enough to command the heel-toe/calf-knee movements necessary for walking, my right side supports the left while I use my left hip to move my left leg forward. It also presents itself in other ways like when I'm getting into the car or putting my socks on. I have to literally pick up my left leg and place it where it needs to be whether that's inside of the car to the left of the gas pedal or a top my right knee so that I can reach my foot. It's not graceful and I can certainly get frustrated when I fall down (though I am truly skilled at the art of falling without getting hurt). However, these are all things I usually do without a second thought. While it might be different for you, this how I learned to walk, drive (automatic, no clutch) and tie my shoes. I don't know any different. That is until today.

Yesterday I went to the gym (this is a three week young habit)and today I discovered that I definitely pulled one or two muscles in my right leg somewhere in the vicinity of my knee. And it's all because my right leg does ever leg curl and press even if the left pretends to play along. My right leg is now painfully crying out for the same support it has given my left for over 25 years. Mr. Lefty however is simply sticking out his tongue and having nothing to do with any of this.

I'm feeling much better than I did this morning when I turned on the shower but decided against climbing into the tub. I also had Papa drive me to work and hold my hand as I walked into my office. You should have seen me when I managed to make it to the tuition slot (because today is May 15th and everyone must pay before finals or else), but couldn't manevour my way back to my desk. Praise Jesus for kind co-workers and helping hands. I can now shuffle with both feet and I figured out just the right way to position my feet and support both my legs when attempting to stand up.

As I said, I am feeling better and the flexibility on my right side is slowly but surely returning. I now have an even deeper appreciation for all that my right side does to keep me mobile and sincere gratitude that while my left side can be frustrating, I have yet to hear it mumble even one painful cry in all these years. I may have been born with cerebral palsy, but at least I wasn't born with TWO bum legs.

Three Years Later

Lord,
I'm simply in awe of the direction that you have taken my life. Of the things I planned, returning to PC was not one of them. Not because I didn't want to, it just never crossed my mind. I thought I would work for Inter-Tel until You lead me to Russia. Even after I wanted leave, I didn't think I would, at least not until the house sold, and even then I didn't even imagine working for PC. And yet by leading me back, You've given me something I didn't know that I always wanted. I truly don't know what tomorrow will bring. Help me to learn from you and lean on you, everday. Help me to remain in awe of you and to seek your best for my life and others no matter what surprises lie behind each bend in the road. You truly know the desires of my heart far better than I ever will.

I wrote these words just over three years ago when I was hired on at PC (even before my first day on the job). The sincere gratitude and awe in these words is even deeper now than it was then. I am absolutely right where my gracious Lord wants me to be, not just because of the enjoyment and fulfillment I find there, but most importantly because it is where my time and God given talents bring Him the most glory.

He has blessed me and those I love so much in the last three years. Ever bend in the road has been evidence of His faithfulness. I simply could not have asked for (nor deserve) a more abundant life than the one He has so graciously given me. They say that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. I say that true life is what happens when I'm willing to lay my plans and expectations at His feet. He knows truly does understand the desires of my heart fall better than I ever will.

Vehicle Emissions In 12 Steps

I've had such fun getting my registration renewed. The trouble goes like this:

1) I don't have my current (now expired) tags or a copy of my registration. Yes, I paid my registration fees, but somehow I lost said stuff before it could make it into/onto my car. It's amazing that I've gone a year without being pulled over.

2)I thought I might need a copy of registration to get my emissions tested. Well my printer was out of ink (as it has been for about six months to a year. What can I say. I've graduated, what do I need to print?).

3) I got new ink, but then I needed a usb adapter so that I could send documents to my printer from my laptop.

4) You can't get a copy of registration that is now expired.

5) I figure out that I don't need my registration or current tags to go thru emissions (In fact they didn't even ask to see any info about my vehicle or my drivers license. It's just all about the car. But what do I know, I was in the bathroom through out the entire test).

6) The next day, my check engine light comes on. From prior experience, I know that this girl can't pass emissions if her engine light is on. (I can't even pass go. They will however take my money and fail me just for coming in.) My gas cap has to be the problem. It's always the problem, usually because I don't twist it back on tight enough after I fill up. But it hasn't been 'clicking' as loud as it used to, so I probably need a new one.

7) I go to Autozone because not only can I buy a new gas cap there (there are two choices, yellow and red. For reasons unknown to myself or the dude behind the counter, the red one is a dollar more. I like red.) but they'll also 'diagnose' my engine issue and reset the light to see if the new cap takes care of the problem. All gratis.

8) They diagnose the problem, and it probably is my gas cap, however they are now prohibited by law from reseting my engine light.

9) They tell me I might be able to reset the light if I disconnect the battery. This doesn't work, which means I have to take it to the mechanic.

10) Normally I like going to Claude's. They're reasonably priced and "papa approved" (my papa had his own auto shop for nearly 20 years, which I know makes this whole story even funnier/sadder). However, the last time I went in Dean actually called my father about my expired tags. Okay, so the call was originally about needed repairs, but he still ratted me out. I soooo didn't want to go back with my tags still expired. I'm a big (admittedly irresponsible) girl, no lectures please. But if that's the one down side to my mechanic treating me like his daughter, I'll live with it. Of course this is all happening at 6pm on Friday. It'll all have to wait til Monday.

11) It's Monday. I leave work an hour early because I figure I can swing by Claudes and then head straight to emissions. Dean says that it probably is my gas cap and resets the light, but also tells me that I need to drive it for a day before I take it in. Apparently their computers can tell if the light has been recently reset. Fine. There were no lectures about my tags (nor any charges for the service!), but they were pretty busy and I pulled in and backed out. I doubt he even saw my tags.

12) It's now Tuesday and I'm finally ready. I leave work at 4pm. It's at 49th street & Madison. I'm a native Phoenician. I know how difficult navigating that part of town can be, what with all the dead ends and detours due to the airport. Yet, I don't bother to get directions (I am without a doubt directionally challenged, but my beloved hometown is laid out in grid with numbered streets running north/south east of central and numbered avenues to the west. And only roads run east/west. This is not NY. You will not find anything on the corner of 12th & 24th in this town. How hard can this be ?) It takes me over an hour to find the place (hence the bathroom break), but it's all worth it because I PASSED!

I've now renewed my registration for the next two years (until April 2010), when I get to do this all over again! Maybe I'll be married by then. That would be nice because I'm definitely insisting that my husband be responsible for all things automotive. Maybe I'll write it into the vows, "In sickness and in health. In oil changes and brake pad replacements." Which reminds me....

Doing Right

1For since the law has but a shadow of the good things to come instead of the true form of these realities it can never, by the same sacrifices that are continually offered every year, make perfect those who draw near. 2Otherwise, would they not have ceased to be offered, since the worshipers, having once been cleansed, would no longer have any consciousness of sins? 3But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins every year. 4For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins. (Hebrews 10:1-4).

If I change my behavior, won't my desires change too? If I throw out the television, I won't want to watch it. If I don't buy ice cream, some day it won't seem appetizing at all. If only these statements were true. But such sacrifice only makes my desire increase. What I need is a new heart, new desires to replace the destructive ones.

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)