Most of this is a letter I wrote to Zach after he spoke at the House. I wanted to record my thoughts here and expand on them a little more.
I really enjoyed your talk tonight. You echoed a lot of the things our Lord has been teaching me. Especially, that just being part of the Body is a huge blessing. Everyone at Whitton has been a huge blessing to me since my very first Sunday, even if they aren't trying to be or even know me personally. Even if you don't know the peaks and valleys of everyone's journey with Christ, just seeing how faithful He is in all our lives and how we all endure trials and enjoy the sweet life He gives each one of us, is filled with lessons and encouragement for all believers.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the our youth group and the students at Phx Christian, how important it is that they be surrounded and loved by older/more mature believers who have been where they are. It's not their parents can't be a great source of wisdom and encouragement, but just like all of us, they need to see the gospel lived out by a myriad of other believers as well.
When I come to girls bible study on Tuesday or the House on Saturday, I'm not there to preach, but to simply show up and live life with these younger believers. Relationships can only begin to be formed when we show up on a regular basis. I'm content to let the Lord reveal what ever He has in mind in His own time frame. I refuse to over think this. So much of my anxiety comes from running ahead of Him.
As I was sitting by Charitie tonight (whom the Lord not only put in my life, but literally placed in my car as I drove her to school for a year and 1/2, while she talked to me non-stop for 20 mins 5 days a week. I'd have to be really dense not to see His hand in our friendship.), I noticed that while she appeared to be busy brushing her hair or trying to talk to me and not paying attention to you, she was paying attention to me (reading the notes I was taking). If I'm focused on Christ and she sees that, that's probably a more powerful example than anything I could say to her.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Resolutions Update
Read through the Bible in one year - I'm a few days behind again, but I'm still committed to it. I'll catch up today.
Workout at Curves 3x per week - Accomplished in January (12x) and there's a prize for those who workout 12x in February, so I'm looking forward to another consistent month.
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy). - I've lost 2.5 pounds of my 5lb monthly goal, but I do feel better and stronger and at least I didn't gain weight. I just need to be more intentional about what I'm eating.
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me. - I have been pretty tired lately, but if I show up, the Lord is faithful to supply the energy. I've joined girls bible study on Tuesday nights and I'm looking forward to Brothers Karamazov.
Workout at Curves 3x per week - Accomplished in January (12x) and there's a prize for those who workout 12x in February, so I'm looking forward to another consistent month.
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy). - I've lost 2.5 pounds of my 5lb monthly goal, but I do feel better and stronger and at least I didn't gain weight. I just need to be more intentional about what I'm eating.
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me. - I have been pretty tired lately, but if I show up, the Lord is faithful to supply the energy. I've joined girls bible study on Tuesday nights and I'm looking forward to Brothers Karamazov.
Friday, January 30, 2009
25 Random Facts About Me
1) I didn't get my drivers license til I was 20
2. I played the trumpet in grade school and Jr. high
3. I have a dog named Koshka (Russian for cat)
4. And a cat named Monkey (short for monkeymew)
5. I am directionally challenged
6. I've been to Moscow three times, but only needed a passport once
7. I love my church family and my co-workers
8. I never got 12 year molars nor wisdom teeth
9. I smell my deodorant before I put it on each morning
10. I lived here a year before I realized I didn't have any salt
11. I recite the alphabet a few times each week
12. I'm really very shy, but it's not worth it, so I aim to overcome it in every situation.
13. I have a wonderful, challenging, grace-soaked, abundant life which is only possible thru Christ. Without Him there just isn't any other explanation for it.
14. My first job was at Baskin Robbins
15. I have three nieces
16. Biologically, I could be my youngest niece's mother.
17. I once did my laundry in the bath tub, without a dryer, for 10 weeks
18. My car is purple. Some would say it's blue.
19. I've lived in AZ all my life, but I speak more Russian than Spanish
20. I failed chemistry in high school
21. I teach sunday school for 1st - 3rd graders
22. I've been a bridesmaid twice
23. I can't stand geometry
24. I love algebra
25. I'd like to get married on a Sunday after church
2. I played the trumpet in grade school and Jr. high
3. I have a dog named Koshka (Russian for cat)
4. And a cat named Monkey (short for monkeymew)
5. I am directionally challenged
6. I've been to Moscow three times, but only needed a passport once
7. I love my church family and my co-workers
8. I never got 12 year molars nor wisdom teeth
9. I smell my deodorant before I put it on each morning
10. I lived here a year before I realized I didn't have any salt
11. I recite the alphabet a few times each week
12. I'm really very shy, but it's not worth it, so I aim to overcome it in every situation.
13. I have a wonderful, challenging, grace-soaked, abundant life which is only possible thru Christ. Without Him there just isn't any other explanation for it.
14. My first job was at Baskin Robbins
15. I have three nieces
16. Biologically, I could be my youngest niece's mother.
17. I once did my laundry in the bath tub, without a dryer, for 10 weeks
18. My car is purple. Some would say it's blue.
19. I've lived in AZ all my life, but I speak more Russian than Spanish
20. I failed chemistry in high school
21. I teach sunday school for 1st - 3rd graders
22. I've been a bridesmaid twice
23. I can't stand geometry
24. I love algebra
25. I'd like to get married on a Sunday after church
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Great Question
17But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, 18because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us. 19For what is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? 20For you are our glory and joy. 1 Thess. 2:17-20
"What is your calling when it comes to living the gospel in your life? What will be your "joy and boasting" when you see Jesus face to face?"
This is just a great question. There are so many ways I could answer this, and yet attempting to left me even more speechless. What if I asked myself that question every morning?
When I see Jesus face to face, I will only be able to boast in a life that He alone made possible. When I say that without Him I'd be in a rubber room, it's not nearly as big of an exaggeration as you might think. And the truth is I don't even have to take it that far. Without Him, I'd be a hermit, consumed by my own neurosis. I'd be too wrapped up in myself to embrace the community and the abundant life that He has given me. And let's not forget the daily tasks filled with humble expectancy He sets in front of me, not because I'm so great, but because of how well my weakness shows off His strength and brings Him glory!
Tonight was great, another grace filled opportunity to connect with fellow believers. Props to Arica for texting me from her sick bed to tell me of the location change and props to the Holy Spirit for encouraging me to show up late rather than using it as an excuse to go to bed early.
The Lord is certainly at work!
"What is your calling when it comes to living the gospel in your life? What will be your "joy and boasting" when you see Jesus face to face?"
This is just a great question. There are so many ways I could answer this, and yet attempting to left me even more speechless. What if I asked myself that question every morning?
When I see Jesus face to face, I will only be able to boast in a life that He alone made possible. When I say that without Him I'd be in a rubber room, it's not nearly as big of an exaggeration as you might think. And the truth is I don't even have to take it that far. Without Him, I'd be a hermit, consumed by my own neurosis. I'd be too wrapped up in myself to embrace the community and the abundant life that He has given me. And let's not forget the daily tasks filled with humble expectancy He sets in front of me, not because I'm so great, but because of how well my weakness shows off His strength and brings Him glory!
Tonight was great, another grace filled opportunity to connect with fellow believers. Props to Arica for texting me from her sick bed to tell me of the location change and props to the Holy Spirit for encouraging me to show up late rather than using it as an excuse to go to bed early.
The Lord is certainly at work!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
A Small Still Voice In The Midst of The Storm
24 Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. 25 About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
27 But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”
28 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
29 “Yes, come,” Jesus said.
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.
31 Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14: 24 - 31 (NLT)
Peter knew that Jesus could/would enable him to walk on water and yet he doubted Him in midstream and began to sink. Why do I talk myself out of faith so easily? Just because Jesus didn't calm the storm before or during Peter's walk on water, doesn't mean that Peter wouldn't have been able to continue walking toward Him.
The Lord's will is often a small still voice in the midst of a great storm.
PC is up against a great storm right now, but the small still voice tells me that His ministry at PC is far from over.
I'm sometimes confused and frustrated about being single or whether I'll ever be married, but the small still voice keeps telling me that He does have a husband in store for me even if I'm approaching 30 and haven't met him yet.
I'm nervous about the new ministry opportunities He has put in front of me and about the changes ahead, but the small still voice keeps reminding me that this is about Him, not me.
The weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like it to even though I'm literally working my butt off, but the small still voice tells me to keep going, to make smaller changes over time, that it will be worth it in the end and that this time the change will be permanent.
In the midst of the storm, His small still voice calms my heart and restores my soul!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Trust & Obedience
The Lord has been teaching me a lot about trust and obedience this week. If I trust the Lord, I need to obey Him even if I'm nervous and don't fully understand why I need to do what He's asking. The fabulous thing is that once I obey Him, this increases my trust in Him since I get to experience His faithfulness as well as the lesson/task/divine appointment He had in mind.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Celebration
"Celebration is the genuinely cheerful expression of remembrance" - Nathan Rehm
If that's the case, I celebrate a lot. I do not know what the Lord's plans are, nor what will happen to tomorrow, but I do know how faithful He has been. When I remember His faithfulness and rejoice in the abundance He has given me, I trust Him completely and know that He will continue to be faithful no matter what surprises tomorrow may bring.
If that's the case, I celebrate a lot. I do not know what the Lord's plans are, nor what will happen to tomorrow, but I do know how faithful He has been. When I remember His faithfulness and rejoice in the abundance He has given me, I trust Him completely and know that He will continue to be faithful no matter what surprises tomorrow may bring.
Spirit Led
Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.
Galatians 5:25 (NLT)
The Spirit often speaks to me in a soft consistent manner, quite unlike the thunder I think I might sometimes prefer and is usually not interested in my own ideas or preferences. Like when Abbie decided to go to law school. I knew someone was needed to take over her teaching position in Sunday school and the Spirit kept suggesting that I volunteer. I suppose I could have ignored it, but I'm glad I didn't. The first two years were pretty tough for me. The actual hour on Sunday was great, the Lord continually showed up each week. (Btw, teaching others is a great way to feed yourself). It was the anxiety I felt about it on Friday/Saturday and the exhaustion I felt afterward. This year is different. I very honest with Chris about the anxiety I was feeling. It's not that I didn't want to teach, but that I wasn't sure I could handle it. And I was right. I can't handle it, but when I rely on His strength instead of my own, when I let the Spirit lead instead of trying to micro manage the outcome, the anxiety melts away.
4I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus, 5that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge— 6even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you— 7so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 8 who will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:4-8 (ESV)
"so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift" Christ has given me the grace and power to go wherever the Spirit leads, to allow Him to accomplish any task He puts in front of me. It's not that I'm gifted in every area, it's that He will gift me in whatever area He puts me in. This is fabulous since the Spirit is once again suggesting another area of ministry and stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone. He's been talking to me about WABC's high school/college ministry. I have no idea what He has in mind nor the level of involvement, but I will trust in Him, I will go wherever He leads me and humbly allow Him to use me.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Prayer
Lord,
I want to spend this life encouraging others, to love them because you loved me even while I was still just a sinner. I want to encourage WABC, individually and as a whole. The father of lies doesn't want me to do this, he'd rather I focus on my own needs and desires instead of supporting the ways in which You are at work at WABC. You want to unite us, he wants to divide us. You want to meet our needs as we feed, lead, and love one another. You've given me ears to hear and lips to lift others up. Help me to watch my tongue. Help me to listen more than I speak and when I speak, help me choose my words carefully instead of getting defensive or demanding. Lord, you led me to WABC, help me to fufill the purpose that you have for me there.
I wrote these words just over two years ago. My desire remains the same. I don't know what His plans are, but I do know how wonderful and gracious He is. All I want is to focus on Him and the humble expectancy of the tasks in front of me.
I want to spend this life encouraging others, to love them because you loved me even while I was still just a sinner. I want to encourage WABC, individually and as a whole. The father of lies doesn't want me to do this, he'd rather I focus on my own needs and desires instead of supporting the ways in which You are at work at WABC. You want to unite us, he wants to divide us. You want to meet our needs as we feed, lead, and love one another. You've given me ears to hear and lips to lift others up. Help me to watch my tongue. Help me to listen more than I speak and when I speak, help me choose my words carefully instead of getting defensive or demanding. Lord, you led me to WABC, help me to fufill the purpose that you have for me there.
I wrote these words just over two years ago. My desire remains the same. I don't know what His plans are, but I do know how wonderful and gracious He is. All I want is to focus on Him and the humble expectancy of the tasks in front of me.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Leisurely Coffee & Lingering Thoughts - Part One
I had Thursday off which offered me a wonderful opportunity to immerse in God's Word while leisurely sipping a peppermint mocha. I've committed to reading through the entire Bible this year and I was a few days behind. I even have a one-year Bible which provides me with some OT, NT, Psalms and Proverbs each day (which I bought in 2006 so it's time to get started). Why do I neglect time in the Word? It's so simple and beneficial and thought provoking and truly keeps me grounded in the gospel instead of this world. I ended up spending 4 hours praying, reading, and journaling (spellcheck doesn't think this is a real word. It's needs to a lesson on popular culture). The following is a myriad of highlights.
PC - I don't even know what to pray for. Of course I want this ministry to continue, to further Your impact on these families, but I also don't want to stand in Your way if You have something greater in store. May we allow You to mold us in your image even more. May we be good stewards and set aside man's wisdom and trust you. The foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man.
Tina & Russia - Lord, your people are the salt of the earth. How sad that Russia is missing this flavor. Move in their minds and their hearts. May Tina be a glorious example of Your love for them.
Lord, help me to seek you every day (every hour) instead of just frantically in my hour of need. Help me to fill my tank every day instead of waiting til I'm on empty.
Why didn't Abraham have other wives or why didn't he take Sarah's maid to bear children for him before God's promise of numerous descendants, which seemed to be customary in those days?
Abraham sacrifices a turtledove. What was the significance of turtledoves in the OT? Or are they mentioned in the 12 days of Christmas ( The two turtledoves represent the Old & New Testaments. I'm still getting Sunday school lessons out of this song) because of Abraham's sacrifice?
Vultures wanted Abraham's sacrifice (that which belongs to God) just as the world wants ours.
All of the waring tribes are descendants of Noah. The Kingdom of Heaven exists on earth were God's people live at peace with one another.
Be a woman of my word and Yes/No is all I'll ever need for others to know that I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Our justice, security, and provision comes from the Lord, what can man possibly take from us (fairly or not) that He cannot replace in abundance. What great gifts do I forfeit by trying to hold on to such earthly treasures?
The command to be perfect is meant to drive us to despair. Only then can we truly know our need for Christ.
Psalm 1:29-33 (NLT)
29 For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the Lord.
30 They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them.
31 Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes. 32 For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency. 33 But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.
I insist on my own way and have no one to blame, certainly not the Lord who already gives me grace upon grace, when I must bear the consequences.
Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar: Two Christians mistreat their servant in order to accomplish what they thought was God's will. God looks kindly on the servant and an everlasting division is born.
Abraham obeyed God immediately regarding circumcision. Why do I put off obedience til another day?
PC - I don't even know what to pray for. Of course I want this ministry to continue, to further Your impact on these families, but I also don't want to stand in Your way if You have something greater in store. May we allow You to mold us in your image even more. May we be good stewards and set aside man's wisdom and trust you. The foolishness of God is greater than the wisdom of man.
Tina & Russia - Lord, your people are the salt of the earth. How sad that Russia is missing this flavor. Move in their minds and their hearts. May Tina be a glorious example of Your love for them.
Lord, help me to seek you every day (every hour) instead of just frantically in my hour of need. Help me to fill my tank every day instead of waiting til I'm on empty.
Why didn't Abraham have other wives or why didn't he take Sarah's maid to bear children for him before God's promise of numerous descendants, which seemed to be customary in those days?
Abraham sacrifices a turtledove. What was the significance of turtledoves in the OT? Or are they mentioned in the 12 days of Christmas ( The two turtledoves represent the Old & New Testaments. I'm still getting Sunday school lessons out of this song) because of Abraham's sacrifice?
Vultures wanted Abraham's sacrifice (that which belongs to God) just as the world wants ours.
All of the waring tribes are descendants of Noah. The Kingdom of Heaven exists on earth were God's people live at peace with one another.
Be a woman of my word and Yes/No is all I'll ever need for others to know that I say what I mean and mean what I say.
Our justice, security, and provision comes from the Lord, what can man possibly take from us (fairly or not) that He cannot replace in abundance. What great gifts do I forfeit by trying to hold on to such earthly treasures?
The command to be perfect is meant to drive us to despair. Only then can we truly know our need for Christ.
Psalm 1:29-33 (NLT)
29 For they hated knowledge and chose not to fear the Lord.
30 They rejected my advice and paid no attention when I corrected them.
31 Therefore, they must eat the bitter fruit of living their own way, choking on their own schemes. 32 For simpletons turn away from me—to death. Fools are destroyed by their own complacency. 33 But all who listen to me will live in peace, untroubled by fear of harm.
I insist on my own way and have no one to blame, certainly not the Lord who already gives me grace upon grace, when I must bear the consequences.
Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar: Two Christians mistreat their servant in order to accomplish what they thought was God's will. God looks kindly on the servant and an everlasting division is born.
Abraham obeyed God immediately regarding circumcision. Why do I put off obedience til another day?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Single Frustration
I'm currently content with being single. I could not ask for a better life. The Lord, friends and family provide me with an abundance of love and care to fend off lonely moments and self absorption. What frustrates me most is when the wrong type of man insists on constantly flirting with me. Even if it's all in fun, it just reminds me that there are currently no quality men (men who share an equal burden for Christ and His kingdom) who seem to be even remotely interested in this quality woman of God.
The good news is he's agreed to knock it off. People can't respect your feelings if you don't speak up. And yes, it can be done in love and I didn't need to get all emotional or share all of my frustration to get my point across because not every feeling as to be shared (that's what my fabulous girlfriends are for).
The good news is he's agreed to knock it off. People can't respect your feelings if you don't speak up. And yes, it can be done in love and I didn't need to get all emotional or share all of my frustration to get my point across because not every feeling as to be shared (that's what my fabulous girlfriends are for).
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Goal
I need a goal. I can keep going to the gym and hope that I'll shed the weight, or I can set a goal and work toward it every single day. My goal is to lose 5lbs by February.
Russia
I went to prayer at the house this morning. I haven't been in a long while and I don't know why I make excuses not to go. It's so edifying and humbling. As we were praying for Tina's trip to Russia, I started to cry. I was thinking about Taelyn. She gets lavished with so much love, but these Russian orphans get so little of that. I thought about Tina's daughters and how they don't like to speak Russian. The truth is they probably didn't hear a lot of love in that language, it doesn't bring happy memories. But it's not just the babies. These childeren are a symptom of an entire culture, generations of people who do not know the love of Christ. America may not be a Christian society, but we all benefit from the multitudes who do know Him.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Thankfulness
I can worry about what might be, but I'd rather be thankful. I'd rather be thankful for all the Lord has done for me and glad for the peaceful rest I find in Him. I'd rather be thankful for the abundance of love, fellowship, and family which fills my days, weeks, and years with such joy. I'd rather recall His faithfulness and the evidence of His fingerprints on every circumstance.
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
What is Faith?
What is Faith?
Where was Abraham's faith when he prepared to sacrifice Isaac? Did he have faith that the Lord would intervene before Abraham actually killed his only son? Or, did he trust that even if the Lord meant for Isaac to die that God was still in control and still capable of fulfilling the promises He had made to Abraham? The Lord had promised Abraham that he would be the father of numerous descendants and now He was asking him to sacrifice his only son. In man's wisdom, this makes no sense at all. How can Abraham be a father of numerous descendants if his only child is dead? Some people will say that having faith meant Abraham knew God would ultimately spare Isaac, but I don't think that faith as anything to do with belief that the Lord will bring about the specific outcomes we desire/deem necessary for His will to be done. Abraham's faith was evident in fact that he was willing to obey the Lord even if His instructions didn't seem to fall in line with His promises.
The school has been struggling a lot this year and we're definitely reaping the consequences of poor financial decisions made in prior years. We need $1 million to break even this year. If the Lord wants the ministry of PC to continue, He needs to show up in a major way. While we are currently planning for the 2009-2010 school year, the truth is that unless this deficit is covered, I might not have a job next year.
My boss has asked me where my faith is, as though I need to have faith that the Lord will cover this deficit. I don't know what the Lord's plans are, but I have faith that the Lord is in control no matter what happens. Having faith means that I'm not looking for another job just because this one might not last. I'm committed to this ministry until we close the doors or the Lords leads me elsewhere (one or the other, or both, which ever comes first). I never set out to work in Christian education, but once the Lord opened the door to work at PC, there was nothing else I wanted to do. I've been blessed and stretched by this experience every single day.
If I had to work elsewhere, it probably wouldn't be at another Christian school (my history with PC and the work which the Lord did in my own life through it, is what drives me to help provide the same opportunities for our students). However, now more than ever, I know I want to work and live for Christ. I could get a regular job, but if anything is going to wear me out, I'd rather be worn out by kingdom work (besides I'd probably be too easily distracted by the comfy lifestyle a regular job would bring). If I didn't work for another ministry, I'd look something (such as temp work or taxes) which would give me the flexibility to pursue short term missions. This life is just too short not to take Christ at His word and give Him my all.
Resolutions:
Read through the Bible in one year
Workout at Curves 3x per week
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy).
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me.
Where was Abraham's faith when he prepared to sacrifice Isaac? Did he have faith that the Lord would intervene before Abraham actually killed his only son? Or, did he trust that even if the Lord meant for Isaac to die that God was still in control and still capable of fulfilling the promises He had made to Abraham? The Lord had promised Abraham that he would be the father of numerous descendants and now He was asking him to sacrifice his only son. In man's wisdom, this makes no sense at all. How can Abraham be a father of numerous descendants if his only child is dead? Some people will say that having faith meant Abraham knew God would ultimately spare Isaac, but I don't think that faith as anything to do with belief that the Lord will bring about the specific outcomes we desire/deem necessary for His will to be done. Abraham's faith was evident in fact that he was willing to obey the Lord even if His instructions didn't seem to fall in line with His promises.
The school has been struggling a lot this year and we're definitely reaping the consequences of poor financial decisions made in prior years. We need $1 million to break even this year. If the Lord wants the ministry of PC to continue, He needs to show up in a major way. While we are currently planning for the 2009-2010 school year, the truth is that unless this deficit is covered, I might not have a job next year.
My boss has asked me where my faith is, as though I need to have faith that the Lord will cover this deficit. I don't know what the Lord's plans are, but I have faith that the Lord is in control no matter what happens. Having faith means that I'm not looking for another job just because this one might not last. I'm committed to this ministry until we close the doors or the Lords leads me elsewhere (one or the other, or both, which ever comes first). I never set out to work in Christian education, but once the Lord opened the door to work at PC, there was nothing else I wanted to do. I've been blessed and stretched by this experience every single day.
If I had to work elsewhere, it probably wouldn't be at another Christian school (my history with PC and the work which the Lord did in my own life through it, is what drives me to help provide the same opportunities for our students). However, now more than ever, I know I want to work and live for Christ. I could get a regular job, but if anything is going to wear me out, I'd rather be worn out by kingdom work (besides I'd probably be too easily distracted by the comfy lifestyle a regular job would bring). If I didn't work for another ministry, I'd look something (such as temp work or taxes) which would give me the flexibility to pursue short term missions. This life is just too short not to take Christ at His word and give Him my all.
Resolutions:
Read through the Bible in one year
Workout at Curves 3x per week
Be thin by 30 (I'll be 29 in April and I'm done with being this heavy).
Be more intentional to cultivate the fabulous relationships the Lord has given me.
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