His Name Was John

John 1:1-13

¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning.

 ³Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴In him was life, and that life was the light of men. ⁵The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

 ⁶There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. ⁷He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. ⁸He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. ⁹The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.

 ¹⁰He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ¹¹He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. ¹²Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— ¹³children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

Verses 6-9 don't really seem to fit in this passage. The author (John) begins talking about Jesus, takes a detuour to talk about John (the Baptist), and then proceeds to continue talking about Jesus.

The correlation is that God sent John to be a witness for Christ, just as He as sent each believer. Go ahead, put your name in place of John's.

Lately the Lord has really increased my desire to be more like Him, to concentrate on living my life as a testimony for His grace. This is not about salvation. I am already by saved by grace. Christ came to save me and give me a new life.

 Romans 6:1-4

 ¹What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ²By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? ³Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

 

This about how He is making me more like Him. This is about living my life as a light. This is about living out my salvation with thanksgiving isn't of using grace as an excuse to continue conforming to this word. How can I be a light, if there's nothing different about me. How can I reflect Christ, if I don't act like Him.

 

P.S. The name John is hebrew for "God is merciful".

120905

The title is a nod to how the date is entered in our database at work. It's also the format that I use when I want to put the date in the title of a document or file.

At lunch today, a few of the teachers and myself got to talking about sin, specifically homosexuality. Can those who indulge in homosexuality really be Christians when God considers it to be a sin? Afterall, aren't all who believe in Christ saved by grace? Don't we all sin everyday in one way or another, both dilberately and accidentally? When it comes down to it, another's salvation is not my decision. I can't judge, but I shouldn't encourage sin either. The only person I can really convict is myself. I'm responsible for how I respond to the Holy Spirit's promptings, for living out my own salvation. I can't judge someone else's journey with Christ. I will not be judged for another's sin, but I will be judged for how I respond to it whether with love or hate. Utlimately, all I can do is follow Him wherever He leads me.

John 21:20-22

 ²⁰Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?") ²¹When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"

 ²²Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."

John 15:5, 8

Generosity

1 Chronicles 29:14

But who am I, and who are my people, that we should be able to give as generously as this? Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand.

This is David speaking to God about the Isrealites opportunity to build the temple. He is thanking God for so generously allowing him to have a part in this. I feel very much the same way.  I am able to be so generous because the Lord has so generously blessed me. Who am I that I should have even the smallest part in His plan? Praise be to God!

C.S. Lewis Quotes - Mere Christianity

C.S. Lewis Quotes - Mere Christianity - 11/30/2005

 

"Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly"

"Most of us are not really approaching the subject [what a Christian society should look like] in order to find out what Christianity says: we are approaching it in the hope of finding support from Christianity for the views of our own party. We are looking for an ally where we are offerred either a Master or - a Judge."

"In the same way a Chrisitian can lose the Christ-life which has been put into him, and he has to make efforts to keep it. But even the best Christian that ever lived is not acting on his own steam - he is only nourishing or protecting a life he could never have acquired by his own efforts...In the same way a Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble - because the Christ-life is inside him, repairing him all the time, enabling him to repeat (in some degree) the kind of voluntary death which Christ Himself carried out. "

"More often, I think, the couple (or one of them) hoped to decieve the public. They wanted the respectability that is attached to marriage without intending to pay the price: that is, they were imposters, they cheated....If people do not believe in permanent marriage, it is perhaps better that they should live together unmarried than that they should make vows they do not mean to keep. It is true by living together without marriage they will be guilty (in Christian eyes) of fornication. But one fault is not mended by adding another: unchastity is not improved by adding perjury. "

What I'm Thankful For

What I'm Thankful For - 11/27/2005

 

Aaron preached a sermon on thanksgiving today. It the end, he left 20 minutes for people to give thanks for what God has done in their lives. Andy is home from Iraq. He gave thanks for God's protection and for his wife Aiesha who had to take care of their house and 3 year old daughter while he was gone.

Aaron approached me before service and asked if I wanted to speak. And not just speak, but would I like to go first :-). Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a lot to be thankful for, especially this year. That and I love to share what the Lord is doing in my life.  And even though I was shaking the entire time ( I'm fine with one-on-one conversations or small groups, but speaking in front of the entire congregation is quite nerve racking), I was so glad for the opportunity to share my praises.

1. Our duplex. It was this time last year that I knew that as much as my father needed me, I also needed to move out. God's fingerprints are all over this blessing.

2. My job at PC. I love my job, that is a huge blessing not to mention how well the Lord has provided for me needs at a time when I didn't think that leaving Inter-Tel was really an option.

3. WABC. I am so blessed to now consider the folks at WABC part of my church family. The Lord really has used this church and her members to bless my life and show me His lessons. I'm blessed to know people who have welcomed me so warming and blessed to have met those who share my passion for missions and outreach both here and abroad. The Lord really does want to reach ALL who are lost. And not only that, but He actually wants us to be a part of it. It's my privilege to be even a small part of His plan!

 

 

 

Go Get Them!

I told Adam the other night that if the burden of salvation was on my shoulders, if it was something I was in control of, my whole family would be saved already. But it's not, all I can do is pray and praise God. Only He can change their hearts. I'm not going to probe Adam about why he's not going to church. But I'm still curious. Does he think that God doesn't love him? If I love him, surely God loves him all the more. And not just Adam, but all the others as well.

2 Peter 3:9

⁹The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

 Matthew 18:12-14

¹²"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? ¹³And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. ¹⁴In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

God wants each of us, he patient, pursing us, because each of us is worth so much to Him.

Matthew 9:35-37

³⁵Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. ³⁶When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. ³⁷Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

The harvest is plentiful. People are also yearning for God. He's not asking us to search for thirsty souls like that proverbial needle in a haystack. Don't be afraid to preach the gospel in word and deed, because plenty of people are paying attention.

Hebrews 4:14-16

¹⁴Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. ¹⁵For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. ¹⁶Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

The Lord's grace is abundant! We can and should be confident in Him!

I know that the Lord is working in the lives of my friends and family. I don't need the perfect words, nor is it necessary to worry about being a perfect example. I am weak, but He is oh so strong. Perhaps others need to see that side of me. If they see that God loves me in spite of my failings, there is hope that they will come to understand that He has enough grace for them too.

Go get them, Lord! And if I'm privileged to have even the

That's A Good Problem

That's A Good Problem! - 11/16/2005

 

Last night at the shower, Abby (who is also studying Russian) told me about this HBO documentary on the children of Leningrad, specifically those who live in the metro stations. She asked me if I wanted to go to Russia to help these children (or something like that). We could hook up with two full-time Campus Crusade missionaries which WABC helps support in Moscow. I told her I wasn't sure if I could just take off like that. She asked if it was my house holding me back. No, I could rent this place out tomorrow ($400/month + utilites sound good to anyone?). My problem is that I love my job.

Later last night I seriously lamented this fact. Do I really want to back to Russia, if I'm not willing to just drop everything? I questioned what's keeping me here. Do I truly view my job at Phoenix Christian as a ministry, or am I just not willing to give up a paycheck and the comfy life I'm accustomed to.  Is it fear or conviction that's keeping me here? I tell everybody else that the Lord will bless whatever path they choose as long as their ultimate desire is to serve Him (Prov. 16:3). Doesn't this also apply to me? Yes, it does.

Do you know what my real problem is? My "problem" is that Lord has given me more than one avenue for ministry. More than one desire of my heart. More than one way to find fulfillment in service to Him. That's not a problem, that's a blessing. Maybe after a couple of years, my desire to go to Russia will win out over my desire to serve Him at PC. Who knows, but whenever it happens (as Laurie pointed out tonight), I'll feel conviction instead of anxiety, and while the decision will change my life, I'll be ready to jump in with both feet.  I'm looking for opportunities, not obligations.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

       and your plans will succeed.

 

 

 

The Purpose of Discipline (Anxiety)

Purposes of Discipline (John MacArthur): Punishment (correction, not judgement), Prevention and Education.

Think about earthly parents. Rarely does a parent discipline (punish) a child in order to get pleasure out of a child's suffering. Parents punish in order to correct bad behavior, in order to prevent the consequences of our actions, and in order to educate us. Parents discipline us for our own good.

Take Job for instance. Job was "blameless, upright, fearing God, and turning away from evil (Job 1:1)" and yet God allowed Job to suffer as though Job was being punished. While Job didn't need his behavior prevented or corrected, Job did get a big dose of education about the Lord. The problem was that Job wasn't willing to accept this suffering from God because Job didn't deserve to suffer. "Job endured it, but he did not accept it, until, after two long lectures directly by God, he acknowledged that he did not need to know the reason behind everything that happened to him. God is soveriegn (Self-governing; independent) and omniscient (Having total knowledge; knowing everything) and omnipotent.(Having unlimited or universal power, authority, or force; all-powerful). What Job learned through his trials was not the reason for them but that God is supremely great and marvelous. He learned "things too wonderful for me, which I did not know," and confessed to his Lord, "I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear; but now my eyessee Thee; therefore I retract, and I repent in dust and ashes" (Job 42:3, 5-6).  (italics, John MacArthur)

This suffering reminds me of my own experience with anxiety. Most people who struggle with anxiety will tell you that they don't know reason behind it, they can't tell you why they feel that way, why the what if's and insecurities keep racing through their mind. I knew exactly what my problem was. I was afraid of God. Scared that I wasn't using my life the way that he wanted me to.

The thing is that even after I made peace enough  with God in order to get off the couch, I was stilled plagued by the kind of general anxiety that I couldn't explain. I thought that if I had more faith, I wouldn't feel this way. I didn't want to take medication because that meant I was weak and really didn't have any faith, plus I didn't want to be that girl who has take meds in order be normal. However, I reached a point where I didn't care what taking medication said about me. The suffering was so intense that I was willing to try just about anything just to feel okay again.

The meds didn't give me faith, but they did make it possible for my faith to grow. Anxiety was an ever growing downward spirial in my mind, a train of thought that I couldn't jump off of.  Medication stopped the spirial, stopped my thoughts from constantly going to the extreme negatative outcome. Medication didn't stop the anxious thoughts, but it allowed me to look at the first thought rationally, apply my faith to it, and move on, instead of continuing on to the next 100 thoughts. However, I'm the worst patient when it comes to actually taking pills. Once I feel better I'll forget to take them. At first I'd have another anxiety attack within a day or two and then continue the meds.

The fortunate thing about anxiety is that it can be "cured" over time once you begin to think rationally and eventually the meds may not be necessary at all. In my case this meant that I was able to go weeks, and then months, and now years at time before I needed the medication again (It's been at least two years since I've taken meds). However, I was still very upset about still being plagued by anxiety at all. I began to be afraid of when the next attack would hit, as though it were lurking around the corner waiting to strike at any moment. 

I continually pleaded with God to just take this away once and for all. I didn't want to live in fear of the next attack.  Like Job, it was then that He revealed to me how soveriegn, omniscient  and omnipotent He really is.  He revealed to me that didn't I need Him to cure this in order to trust Him with it.

He revealed to me that even if I'm plagued with occassional anxiety attacks for the rest of my life, that the problem, like my earthly life, is only temporary. Even He won't cure it, He still knows all about it. And he knows when the next one's coming long before I do. It may be a surprise to me, but it's not to Him. Wherever He chooses to send me, however He chooses to use me, He already knows that the occassionally anxiety might be right there with me. 

That realization came in April 2003 ( I actually  had to search my diary for the exact time frame and it doesn't seem like that long ago. Two years ago next month, I actually graduated from college. A major milestone considering all of the anxiety I struggled with during college), and while there have been times when I still need to take the meds (but not for over a year now!), I no longer fear the anxiety, mostly because I stopped looking for the answer and started trusting God with it.

Jonah

The college group has been doing a study of Jonah. I'm really learning alot and appreciating this book like never before.

Jonah 1:3

³ But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD.

Why does scripture make a point of saying that Jonah paid the fare? Couldn't it just say that he went aboard? Couldn't it just go without saying that he paid the fare? I think this pointed out because when we run from the Lord, there will be a price to pay, whether it's simply the missed opportunities to be in communion with him, or whether we pay for our sin due to the consequences of our actions that most be endured. The Lord has so much to teach me. Every time I choose some temporary distraction over fellowship with Him, I lose out. Sure, the lessons might come around again and again, but why wait?.

Jonah 1:4-5

⁴ Then the LORD sent a great wind on the sea, and such a violent storm arose that the ship threatened to break up. ⁵ All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own god. And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.

      But Jonah had gone below deck, where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep.

Why was Jonah able to sleep with the storm raging all around him? Especially when he caused it? Jonah was running from God because he'd rather die than see the Nihevites come to repentence. Maybe he didn't care to live or to die. I've been there. I've so afraid and yet so angry with the Lord, not wanting to live, but fearing death. I slept a lot.

Jonah 1:11-13

¹¹ The sea was getting rougher and rougher. So they asked him, "What should we do to you to make the sea calm down for us?" ¹² "Pick me up and throw me into the sea," he replied, "and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you." ¹³ Instead, the men did their best to row back to land. But they could not, for the sea grew even wilder than before.

My observation is not necessarily relevant to this particular passage, but this is what I thought about when I read it. I thought about how people try to tell you who they are, but we refuse to listen, or how God tries to tell us what to do and yet we insist on our own way in vain.

Jonah 1:14-17

¹⁴ Then they cried to the LORD, "O LORD, please do not let us die for taking this man's life. Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man, for you, O LORD, have done as you pleased." ¹⁵ Then they took Jonah and threw him overboard, and the raging sea grew calm. ¹⁶ At this the men greatly feared the LORD, and they offered a sacrifice to the LORD and made vows to him.

 ¹⁷ But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights.

These men and Jonah himself thought that he would die when Jonah was thrown into the ocean and rightly so. However, God provided the whale to proctect Jonah, not to punish him.