I'll be 29 next week (30 next year). I'm by no means old. I'm older than some, but still younger than most. I don't have the life I dreamed of at 14, nor the one I dreaded at 22 and I praise the Lord on both accounts. I have an abundant, challenging, grace-soaked, love-filled life which could only be possible through Christ. I'm a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a friend to many. I don't have everything I want (who does?), but He certainly has provided more than enough of everything I need. He has blessed me far more than I deserve. And to think of all the kicking and screaming He's put up with from this simple-minded gal just so He could wow me.
In the next year (before the big 3-0. I refuse to panic, but I won't deny the weight of such a milestone), I plan to be more intentional with the time, choices, and opportunities the Lord gives me each day. I need to get rid of the TV, loss 60 lbs (5lbs per month is realistic and healthy), return to Russia(n) (perhaps the country, but at least the language), spend more time with Him (allowing Him to equip me) and follow Him as He lovingly guides me further outside of my comfort zone.
If I've learned anything thus far, it's that the Lord is truly is faithful even when I am faithless. Life is not a matter of killing time between milestones and major life events. All of life is preparation for eternity.
7Two things I ask of you; deny them not to me before I die:8Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me,9lest I be full and deny you and say, "Who is the LORD?"or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God.
(Proverbs 30:7-9 ESV)
8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
(Micah 6:8 NIV)
Lord, help me to focus on you each day rather than what you might have in store decades, years, months, weeks or even days from now.
13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
(2 Timothy 2:13 NIV)
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
(Galatians 5:22-23).
If I'm going to get wrong sometimes, if I'm going to make an error in judgement, please let me err on the side of grace rather than pride.
22Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
(2 Timothy 2:22)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Walking by The Spirit
16But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
Galatians 5:16-17
Before Christ was crucified, He told us of the Holy Spirit who would come upon believers after His departure. All believers have this Spirit. When we choose to walk by the Spirit, we choose to listen to the Spirit rather than our selfish, temporal, instant-gratification-seeking flesh. Like everyone else, I know what I should do, what the Spirit tells me to do, but I often turn to the easier, fleshier alternative. However, if I were to obey the Spirit more often, I'd surely find it easier to battle the sinful desires of my flesh since the desires of the the Spirit are against the flesh. There is no legalism here, nor do I expect perfection. If perfection were possible, I would not need Christ, but I do wish to walk worthy of His sacrifice, of His name.
Galatians 5:16-17
Before Christ was crucified, He told us of the Holy Spirit who would come upon believers after His departure. All believers have this Spirit. When we choose to walk by the Spirit, we choose to listen to the Spirit rather than our selfish, temporal, instant-gratification-seeking flesh. Like everyone else, I know what I should do, what the Spirit tells me to do, but I often turn to the easier, fleshier alternative. However, if I were to obey the Spirit more often, I'd surely find it easier to battle the sinful desires of my flesh since the desires of the the Spirit are against the flesh. There is no legalism here, nor do I expect perfection. If perfection were possible, I would not need Christ, but I do wish to walk worthy of His sacrifice, of His name.
Eternal Value & Marriage
17Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.
1 Corinthians 7:17-19 (ESV)
Marriage has become a distraction and a source of jealously and discontentment for me. While it is not wrong for me to want to be married, it is wrong for me to make such an idol out of it. Whether I am single or married, slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised has no eternal value. Keeping the commands of God, being a slave to Christ is the only thing that will truly matter in eternity and they are also the only things that can bring me true purpose and passion.
With that in mind, I will stop seeking to be married. Instead I will seek divine enslavement to Christ. If I meet a fellow slave to Christ who I'd rather live with than live without and the feeling is mutual, I will marry. As it stands now, there are only crushes I would rather live without.
1 Corinthians 7:17-19 (ESV)
Marriage has become a distraction and a source of jealously and discontentment for me. While it is not wrong for me to want to be married, it is wrong for me to make such an idol out of it. Whether I am single or married, slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised has no eternal value. Keeping the commands of God, being a slave to Christ is the only thing that will truly matter in eternity and they are also the only things that can bring me true purpose and passion.
With that in mind, I will stop seeking to be married. Instead I will seek divine enslavement to Christ. If I meet a fellow slave to Christ who I'd rather live with than live without and the feeling is mutual, I will marry. As it stands now, there are only crushes I would rather live without.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Truth in Love
So, I've got some extra funds burning a hole in my savings account. There's enough to buy one round trip ticket to just about anywhere my heart desires. Where does my heart desire to go? Croatia, of course. However, I spoke with Stevo this morning and he thinks that the English camps would be too fast-paced and tiring for me. I'd have to agree. My heart may be up for anything, but this body is in need of down time and naps. Stevo speaks the truth in love well (at least he did this morning). He spoke the truth out of concern for me and the team as a whole and I felt even more loved at the end of the conversation than at the beginning. I won't being going to Croatia this summer, but I will be sending all my prayers, love, and support instead.
Our Lord is far too gracious to me. I am beyond blessed by those who, by God's grace, are able to lovingly speak the truth into my life.
15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. - Ephesians 4:15 - 16 (NIV).
Originally, I was going to end this with only verse 15 (which I know may be somewhat out of context in this situation, but the concept of speaking the truth in love still applies), but verse 16 speaks so well about the parts we all play in working for the Kingdom as a whole.
Our Lord is far too gracious to me. I am beyond blessed by those who, by God's grace, are able to lovingly speak the truth into my life.
15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. - Ephesians 4:15 - 16 (NIV).
Originally, I was going to end this with only verse 15 (which I know may be somewhat out of context in this situation, but the concept of speaking the truth in love still applies), but verse 16 speaks so well about the parts we all play in working for the Kingdom as a whole.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A Fortuitous Marriage
The author profile for Fyodor Dostoevsky in Brothers Karamazov ('The' is unnecessarily added in translation) describes his marriage to Anna Snitkina as "fortuitous", crediting the relationship with giving him the emotional stability following a period of depression to complete many of his great works.
Fortuitous: lucky, fortunate, an unexpected blessing.
Fort: a place where one prepares for and retreats from battle. A place of strengthening and refreshment.
If I marry, let it be a fortuitous one.
Fortuitous: lucky, fortunate, an unexpected blessing.
Fort: a place where one prepares for and retreats from battle. A place of strengthening and refreshment.
If I marry, let it be a fortuitous one.
Sending Missionaries = Sending My Friends
I have lunch/dinner with a friend of mine every Tuesday and we often talk about Whitton. A few weeks ago, I was telling her about how much money the WABC family gave to missions in 2008 (beyond tithing and that included in the general budget). She says to me "You don't just send money, you send people". And then today in Sunday School, this weeks ABC of God was U for Unchanging (because God is unchanging). We were talking about good and bad changes when Alice says, "..and sometimes your friends move away."
She's right, sometimes your friends move away (which is difficult at any age). For those of us at WABC, one thing for sure is that it's really just a matter of time before our unchanging Lord will ask us to say yet another bittersweet goodbye so that He can change the lives of others for eternity.
The only problem with this is we don't just send people, we send my friends. When I meet new people at WABC the standard "nice to meet you" really implies, "Hi I'm Sam (or Samantha) and the Lord will be sending me out in 3 years, six months, and two days. In the mean time, we'll become the dearest of friends and I'll be sure to take a little piece of your heart with me when I go. "
The only saving grace in all of it is that they also leave a little piece of their heart with all of us. My heart doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, but there sure are a lot of little pieces of it everywhere.
She's right, sometimes your friends move away (which is difficult at any age). For those of us at WABC, one thing for sure is that it's really just a matter of time before our unchanging Lord will ask us to say yet another bittersweet goodbye so that He can change the lives of others for eternity.
The only problem with this is we don't just send people, we send my friends. When I meet new people at WABC the standard "nice to meet you" really implies, "Hi I'm Sam (or Samantha) and the Lord will be sending me out in 3 years, six months, and two days. In the mean time, we'll become the dearest of friends and I'll be sure to take a little piece of your heart with me when I go. "
The only saving grace in all of it is that they also leave a little piece of their heart with all of us. My heart doesn't seem to be getting any smaller, but there sure are a lot of little pieces of it everywhere.
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