I'm Already Dead - What I Learned From Harry Potter

Because I'm already dead, death has no hold on me. And if I cannot die, the things of this life pale in comparison

Galatians 2:20
20I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Since I'm already dead, the things of this life pale in comparision to eternity.

Acts 20:24
24But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

I have lost my life, and yet I've never felt so alive

Matthew 16:25
25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

God's Gonna Get Ya

The Lord wants everyone to come to salvation thru Christ. He is not willing that anyone should perish.

2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

Most of my family are not believers. This is heartbreaking for me. I've been praying for them for years to no avail, or so it might seem. While none of them have accepted Christ, I can certainly see the Lord at work in their lives. I am most confident that Adam will come to know Christ, probably because his situation is the most heartbreaking to me. He was raised in the LDS church and their twisting of the gospel has most certainly contributed to his current lack of faith. It's most heartbreaking to me when such moral, well intentioned folks misrepresent Christ. Whether now or in 50 years, the Lord is going to save him. Adam could fight it, but he might as well surrender now because as I always say, "The Lord always wins, so why do I insist on fighting with Him."

I'm a Churchgoing Believer

"We are not churchgoers, but we are believers."

I won't judge whether one can truly be a believer if they don't go to church. Afterall, going to church doesn't make you a believer any more than going to Paris makes you French, but I will say that a believer who doesn't attend church is missing out on the joy, comfort, and discipline of fellowship with other believers. I know that in eternity we'll meet others who did not have the option of going to church. Imagine what they will think of those who just didn't want to go.

Suffering & Disappointment in Ministry

2 Corinthians 1:8-11
8For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. 9Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. 10He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. 11You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many.

This passage is such joyful reminder of what we will all face in some form or another as we strive to live out the gospel and how essential it is that we continually lift up one another in prayer. I use the word joyful because we need not lose hope even when we despair because we need only to rely on and put our hope in the Lord who will deliver us.

That's A Good Problem!

I wrote the following in November 2005. These thoughts came to mind today when I once again found myself wondering just how Russian and Russia will play out in my life. There are days when I want to hop on the next plane and then there are days when I look around and see the need for Christ in my home town. What's the point of studying this language, if I'm content to serve Christ right where I am? What's the point of staying here, if the Lord has given me a desire to continue studying Russian? The truth is that I don't know what His plans are. All I can do, my greatest desire, is to serve Him daily wherever I am. If at the end of my life, all this studying has been in vain, there are certaninly more frivolous things I could have spent my time on.



That's A Good Problem! - 11/16/2005

 

Last night at the shower, Abby (who is also studying Russian) told me about this HBO documentary on the children of Leningrad, specifically those who live in the metro stations. She asked me if I wanted to go to Russia to help these children (or something like that). We could hook up with two full-time Campus Crusade missionaries which WABC helps support in Moscow. I told her I wasn't sure if I could just take off like that. She asked if it was my house holding me back. No, I could rent this place out tomorrow ($400/month + utilites sound good to anyone?). My problem is that I love my job.

Later last night I seriously lamented this fact. Do I really want to back to Russia, if I'm not willing to just drop everything? I questioned what's keeping me here. Do I truly view my job at Phoenix Christian as a ministry, or am I just not willing to give up a paycheck and the comfy life I'm accustomed to.  Is it fear or conviction that's keeping me here? I tell everybody else that the Lord will bless whatever path they choose as long as their ultimate desire is to serve Him (Prov. 16:3). Doesn't this also apply to me? Yes, it does.

Do you know what my real problem is? My "problem" is that Lord has given me more than one avenue for ministry. More than one desire of my heart. More than one way to find fulfillment in service to Him. That's not a problem, that's a blessing. Maybe after a couple of years, my desire to go to Russia will win out over my desire to serve Him at PC. Who knows, but whenever it happens (as Laurie pointed out tonight), I'll feel conviction instead of anxiety, and while the decision will change my life, I'll be ready to jump in with both feet.  I'm looking for opportunities, not obligations.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

       and your plans will succeed.

 

 

 

The Limitations of "What if?"

All the "what ifs" that go through my mind don't leave room for the Lord's grace and blessings. I stepped way outside of my comfort zone today and He was there at every step.

This morning I helped with Feed the Need. The group was much smaller than usual. Peter and I went to the park by the library. I enjoyed Peter's laid back style and praying with each man. One man sows and another man reaps, but God grants the increase. I don't need to focus on what I'm doing for the Lord, because the truth is things go so well when I just show up and let Him work.

Tonight I went to the House. Aaron taught from Thessalonians and then we split up in guy/girl groups to pray. I even went to afterhouse at the Kinkels and then to coffee plantation with Sarah, Dan, Katie, Greg, and Erin. It was all so much fun. I am truly blessed beyond measure.

I tend to over analyze everything, but my feelings aren't based in reality. I may feel ugly,lazy,and unloved, but nothing could be further from the truth.