That's A Good Problem!

I wrote the following in November 2005. These thoughts came to mind today when I once again found myself wondering just how Russian and Russia will play out in my life. There are days when I want to hop on the next plane and then there are days when I look around and see the need for Christ in my home town. What's the point of studying this language, if I'm content to serve Christ right where I am? What's the point of staying here, if the Lord has given me a desire to continue studying Russian? The truth is that I don't know what His plans are. All I can do, my greatest desire, is to serve Him daily wherever I am. If at the end of my life, all this studying has been in vain, there are certaninly more frivolous things I could have spent my time on.



That's A Good Problem! - 11/16/2005

 

Last night at the shower, Abby (who is also studying Russian) told me about this HBO documentary on the children of Leningrad, specifically those who live in the metro stations. She asked me if I wanted to go to Russia to help these children (or something like that). We could hook up with two full-time Campus Crusade missionaries which WABC helps support in Moscow. I told her I wasn't sure if I could just take off like that. She asked if it was my house holding me back. No, I could rent this place out tomorrow ($400/month + utilites sound good to anyone?). My problem is that I love my job.

Later last night I seriously lamented this fact. Do I really want to back to Russia, if I'm not willing to just drop everything? I questioned what's keeping me here. Do I truly view my job at Phoenix Christian as a ministry, or am I just not willing to give up a paycheck and the comfy life I'm accustomed to.  Is it fear or conviction that's keeping me here? I tell everybody else that the Lord will bless whatever path they choose as long as their ultimate desire is to serve Him (Prov. 16:3). Doesn't this also apply to me? Yes, it does.

Do you know what my real problem is? My "problem" is that Lord has given me more than one avenue for ministry. More than one desire of my heart. More than one way to find fulfillment in service to Him. That's not a problem, that's a blessing. Maybe after a couple of years, my desire to go to Russia will win out over my desire to serve Him at PC. Who knows, but whenever it happens (as Laurie pointed out tonight), I'll feel conviction instead of anxiety, and while the decision will change my life, I'll be ready to jump in with both feet.  I'm looking for opportunities, not obligations.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

       and your plans will succeed.