Response

Written Sunday, April 29, 2007


The following is a response to an email I recieved regarding my last entry. I often email my most meaningful entries to my friends. The quotes are from "My Utmost for His Highest"

The Lord is so good! I read that in Utmost yesterday too (I have the classical edition which is slightly different than the version you quoted), though the thoughts have been on my mind for a while.

"We imagine that we have to reach some end, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty, consequently we do not make our nests anywhere."

In short, we're not home yet. For me, the question of marriage is about how much I should be "nesting". My thoughts aren't really about singleness vs. marriage, but rather about how to live this life in light of eternity.

"Immediately we abandon our lives to God and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our lives with surprises all the time."

No one knows this better than I. As much as I stressed and agonized about it, I honestly thought I'd be in Russia before I had any sort of career. "When we become advocates of a creed, something dies. We do not believe in God, we only believe our belief about Him" I was so focused on what I thought He was going to do, that I was blind to what He was doing and who He is. I agonized over buying this house and taking the job at Phoenix Christian (quite the opposite of hopping a plane to Moscow). And yet the surprises have been full of blessings.

I would not believe it if I were not living it. But like I said before, things didn't work out because I made all the right decisions, but rather because God is just that gracious.

If I remain single, He will there and He will bless me with opportunities to serve Him.
If I marry, He will be there and He will bless me with opportunities to serve Him.